


You Will Always Have My Heart

by orphan_account



Series: Memories [1]
Category: Impractical Jokers
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/M, Gen, Love, Marriage, Oral Sex, Other, Post-Divorce, Separations, Sex, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-21 22:11:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 31,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8262181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sequel to "Memories"Married life started out full of love, hope and fun, a year later Sophie was born, she is the light and heart of Sal, he loves being a Dad more than he imagined , as his career takes off, the IJ become more popular, more tour dates, more comedy shows, took a toll on his marriage, and the love of his life his wife, Mary.





	1. I do , I still do

The tour bus is headed back to New York it was one of the best string of shows ever, we sold out every single venue I was on top of 

The world, me and the guys were truly blessed, I was glad to be heading home, oh how I missed my little Sophie she's three now and so

Bright, funny, and beautiful, she has her mom's curly dark hair, her brilliant smile, she has my eyes, she does favor me look wise maybe mannerisms

Mary wanted her to have my eyes, she got em, she's the love of my life, I miss her so much when I'm gone, we FaceTime and talk on the 

Phone, it's great but I'd rather be with her , Brian calling me roused me from my thoughts 

Sal"yeah Q what's up ?"

Q"you talk to Soph yet ?"

Sal"no she's at soccer practice, Mary said they'd FaceTime me after , "

Q"soccer , I love watching her play a bunch of three year olds running around, it's damn cute, Sophie so into it, all intent"

Sal"like her mom, she played like that "

Q"you two.....I mean...."(he looks at me, he knows well the other two know too we've been having a few problems, but no more bus 

Tours for a while, it'll help. Joe and i have talked great lengths he's seen his hard days with bessy too, and now that his little girl is 

Five he wants to be home more too)

Sal"trying to fix t Bri, trying "(he pats my back)

Q"you know I'm here for you, always, I mean not only am I your best friend but godfather to that little girl of yours , I'm worried Sal"

Sal"I appreciate it , I do and I know Bri I know "

 

I walk in and hear Sophie laughing I instantly grin, oh how I've I missed her I walk into the kitchen where her and Mary are making dinner 

Together she sees me and jumps off the stool yelling Daddy I scoop her up and hug her tight, kiss her face over and over listening to her 

Giggle my god I missed her .

Me"how's my Sophie girl?hmmm?"

Sophie"I'm good I helping mommy make you dinner, you hungry daddy?"

Me"I am sweetie, smells good too "(I walk to Mary kiss her )

Mary"I'm glad your hungry, we made ,and are making some of your favorites, glad your home Sal"

I lean in and give her another kiss she smiles , leans up kisses me more 

Sophie"mommy you give daddy kisses, alllllllllll the time! Daddy you kiss mommy alllllllllll the time, !"

Sal"I love your mommy alot, kissing her is a good thing, just like giving you kisses my Sophie sugar"

 

We eat dinner and Sophie talks to me the whole time about what she did while I was gone the three weeks, she's so excited as 

She tells me she s so animated for a three year old, but she does take after me in that respect, Mary's watching us smiling she 

Takes my hand and holds it on the table I run my thumb over her hand, I missed her alot too, she's my wife, i loved her so many 

Years before we got married, still do, our five year anniversary is in two months I have a surprise getaway for us, just us my mom is

Taking Sophie the days were gone, looking fwd to it. I give Sophie her bath, read to her till she's sleeping , kiss her goodnight 

Walk to my room I've already showered before dinner and unpacked most of my suitcase, I hear Mary in our bathroom washing her 

Face I turn our bed down and check my phone for texts, answer the few from Joe and Q then set it down I get into bed , she comes out 

And gets in next to me putting lotion on her arms .

Mary"she's so happy your home I love how her little face lights up when she's talking to you "

Me"me too, my sweet girl.....is her mommy happy I'm home?"(she turns to look at me touching my face , I move closer to her 

I've missed her, and truth be told, I've missed the sex.


	2. I do I still do.... continued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *sexual content ahead*

I put my hand on his cheek I always have loved doing that it's so endearing to me, he closes his eyes then opens them 

Me"I'm very happy you're home Sal, all day I was looking forward to seeing you , I'm happy your here, in our bed next to me, I...know 

These last few months .... haven't been our best but I love you , I'm not always easy to get along with I know, but being apart for three weeks 

Had alot of time to think, to improve things about myself, I'm trying Sal I really am , I don't ....(dammit do not cry Mary I'm trying to 

Hold my tears back), I don't want to lose you"(and  with that said I burst into tears, he pulls me to him and hugs me rubbing my head )

Sal"babe please , don't cry, you aren't going to lose me,, Ihave my faults in this too, your not alone in this, I know I'm away alot I didn't anticipate

This, as great as it is, the downside is not being here with you and Soph, you take on so much, you need to know I'm just as much to

Blame, if not more , look at me baby "(I look up at him , he puts his hand on my cheek and wipes my tears away )"I love you, I'm not going 

Anywhere , believe that , I know with what happened before your trust in me is ..not what it was"

Me"sal please I....dont want to talk about that "(I sit up so does he)

Sal"but that's some of our problem, I mean we talked about it, but you know those emails as wrong as I was, I didn't act on 

Anything , I want you to know ..."(I cut him off with a kiss I can't handle this discussion not now , he looks at me I kiss him again 

This time harder he grabs my face and moves me to his lap we continue to kiss running our hands over the exposed flesh of one another , I know 

That part of our problems came from emails he was sending back and forth with a girl who was on the IJ crew, she's gone from them now

In part because of what happened, the other it just was too awkward, no he didn't cheat but it was still a betrayal to me, and he knew that

He admitted it to me, it's something we worked on, continue to , but right now I just want my husband, I love him , I don't know or care 

If that makes me pathetic, he's my Sal, my first boyfriend, my first love, my first everything, the time we were apart we changed a 

Little, I mean we grew, when we found one another again I vowed to myself I was never letting go again, and I can't, have Soph growing 

Up like that, her parents apart, we will work on us, I look at him and the feeling in my chest, my heart is love I adore this man 

I do , I still do 

Sal"baby (he cups my face he's looking at me with those beautiful eyes, they see into my soul, ) I want to make you feel good, 

My girl(he kisses me gently) I love you "(I kiss his face he smiles and moves me from his lap to my pillow, my head rests on it 

He's above me , his hands on either side of my head , flat on our bed , he moves over me and nips at my neck, I love that 

My tank and panties is all I have on, he moves s his hand to push up my tank, leaning kissing each nipple, then gently sucking each one 

I moan and reach down to release him from his boxers,, I love touching him, feeling him, mostly I love when he's inside of me, he is 

Such a generous lover, he always makes sure I am taken care of and his lovemaking , SO good , he moves his hand to my panties and gently 

Pulls then down , I move so he can get them off, and he does, he looks at me , never breaking eye contact he slowly enters me, my god 

I've missed this three weeks is too long, I feel him fill me up the pressure, the amount is more than enough, he slowly starts thrusting

In and then out

Sal"baby, so good, I've mised that, us, our intimacy, feeling is....my god perfect"

Me"me too Sal, I love, ooooh Sal!"(he's thrusting in and out at a quicker pace I'm moaning, I'm in this moment with my husband,

The man I love, with all I am, he moves a finger to my clit, rubs it I'm so excited I dont take long he , cums I feel it in me, I grasp his hand he 

Used to rub me, and kiss it , I am so happy he's home, I feel inside me , a desperate longing to hold onto him and I do just that I hug 

Him to me, I feel his heart beating his breathing , I smell his cologne, it's beautiful to my senses 

Sal"I love you baby, I,...just love you"(and with that she kisses me and I know she's my girl, still, always .


	3. I don't recall asking you

Sal"um...she said she's not going to pre school today "

I walk into Sophie s bedroom she's under her bed at the moment Sal is on the floor talking to her I see his face he's amused at this three 

Year olds "stand off" I join him on the floor 

Me"morning Soph, so what's up sweet pea ?"

Soph(she looks at me, then points to her dad, she's so pretty she has his eyes that glorious green color, that one day a man will fall

Deeply in love with, easily so, right now I'm going to lay here with my husband and see what's going on 

Sophie"mommy I stay here, I not see daddy in three weeks! Mommy there a long time! "

I look at Sal he's grinning at me 

Me"Soph you only go for three hours today , daddy can take you then maybe after he gets you , you can go to lunch at your favorite place 

What do you say?"(I see she's Pondering my suggestion she looks at a smiling sal then me). "and it's Thursday story time with a new book you 

Love that soph "

She comes out from under her bed sal and I sit up she crawls into his lap 

Soph"ok mama I go, daddy we can have lunch at our place ?"

Sal"yes we can sweet girl you and me, then stop and see mommy at the bakery"

She nods yes happily, I kiss her cheek and get up sal joins me she goes to her bathroom to brush her teeth , he pulls me into him 

Sal"good work mommy "

Me"I do try, her clothes laid out (I point to them) have to go, Dom is by himself till I get there, Angie couldn't make it early today "

Sal"she does that alot, your an owner say something"

Me"she's my sister in law, what can I say "

Sal"that your husband prefers you home a little later in the am (he traiIs kisses along my neck, I shiver his lips are so soft he knows 

Exactly where to kiss me , my spots on my neck ) 

Me(I gently push his chest and kiss him)"I prefer it too sweet man "(he starts kissing me and Sophie runs in )

Soph"kissing again , mommy and daddy kiss kiss "(we laugh then grab and kiss her , she's laughing so hard , I love these moments they 

See me thru the hard times )

 

Me"Angie how many cake orders are there for Friday?"

Angie"seven , no eight"

Me" thank you"

Angie"so Sal s home ?"

Me"yep, came home last night, "

Angie"I know Sophie is so happy to have her daddy home "

Me"she is and I am too "

Angie"good...good so have you called Dr Berg yet?"

I knew she was getting at that and I'm in no mood for this 

Me"no, I'm not sure I will call him "

She comes closer to me, Dom and my other worker Daniel are at the other end of the counter 

Angie"Mary did you even talk to Sal about going ?"(I shake my head no)"it will help you , me and Anthony , it helped us )

Me"Angie I appreciate your concern, I'm glad it helped you and my brother , I am but Sal isn't one for talking about his personal business to

A stranger and I'm not so sure I am, we will be ok"

Angie"how ?by hiding your head in the sand? Give me a break, you two can't keep going like you are, you had problems before the email 

Incident (I can feel my body tense, ) it wasn't fair to you, he had no business emailing that girl, and carrying on with her on the set "

Me"carrying on? We're you there no you weren't"

Angie" I don't have to have been there , and you know I'm right, I want you to be ok, and right now your not , him going away on tours gives 

You anxiety, that's not ok, you take on all of it like you caused it, I know you think it's your fault he was talking to that bitch it was his 

And her too she knew he was married , you deserve better Mary "

Me"deserve better? You are suggesting I leave him??!!!"

Angie"no, maybe , you....have to talk to him ,you sweep it u see the rug it's not going to go away on its own, I know you want Sophie to

Have both her parents together I know that's a big factor in your thought process "

Me(I'm going to explode)"Angie I'm done talking about this , enough, thank you "

Angie"no you've barely talked about it !"

Me(I slam the order book on the bakery case, Dom looks at us, Daniel is in the kitchen baking )"I don't recall asking you for your help

And opinions , he's MY husband it's MY marriage I will handle it, and it's not just Sophie ok? I love him do you understand that?!! I love him

You don't just turn off love like a light switch! He made a mistake, we all do! I'm NOT doing this with you, mind your own business

My marriage is NOT your business!!! Worry about your own marriage and life Angie!!!!"(with that I walk to the office and slam the door tears 

Falling I sit and put my head in my hands on my desk, I know she's right, dammit I know but I just can't )

 

Sal"come on in, she's sleeping she fell asleep after I took her to lunch, we were going to stop at the bakery but ..."

Q"aww little sweetheart, I have her gifts I got her from our road trip ",

Sal"Q (I look in the bag) you are spoiling her "

Q"nah  she's my god daughter, I just got her a few things "

Sal",uh huh....thanks buddy , thirsty?"

Q"yeah I'll take a tea , thanks "

Sal(I hand him the tea and we sit in the living room )"you glad to be home? I know you are, and I know the cat's are too, your fur babies "

Q"course they love their daddy!!! , So....you and mare? ",

Sal"good, I mean she....(I shake my head) she's blaming herself for our problems, she thinks I'm going to leave her, she cried last night 

Yeah I felt horrible , like I could feel her pain. I can't ever take back what I did, but I love her, I've never loved another woman like 

I love her, I will never be sorry enough ",

Q"buddy, you can't keep beating yourself up over it....yeah it was wrong and yeah you know that, it's the past. She loves you she forgave you 

You Sal, you have to forgive yourself, you need to buddy it'll help....the situation"

Sal"I know....I know (,I know he cares but I'm done talking about it , today )"thanks Q, so....podcast ideas ?"

Q"yep got a bunch "(i take out my iPad and show him what I have , I'm still worried but I know for now we are done talking 

About it"


	4. Just smile

I'm at home waiting for Mary to get home, she ended up closing cause Angie went home sick, they close at six thirty so it's not too bad 

My Dad came over to catch up with me and took Sophie for dinner and ice cream, she does love her papa which makes me happy 

She has that relationship with him, she is quite loved my little girl. When Mary was pregnant I was nervous too often about the pregnancy the baby

No reasons just that's me, we didn't wanna know the sex , I predicted a girl, most family and Friends did too, I was instantly in love with her

All seven pounds of her, tiny little peanut she was born with so much hair we were able to put bows and headband s in her hair and they 

Would stay in all that dark gorgeous wavy hair, her hair curled as she grew, she's got her mom's hair, beautiful, I fell in love with Mary 

All over again seeing her as a mom, it's actually a turn on to see the woman you love , mother your child, I'm a lucky man. 

I hear the front door and go to the hallway, I watch her take her North face jacket off and hang it on the hook in the hallway she turns and 

Smiles at me, her hazel eyes light up her curls are pulled up into a ponytail, she's so damn pretty, she loves me so much , will I ever get 

Over this guilt? Q is right I need to forgive myself , it'll help .she walks over and wraps her arms around my waist hugging me tight she lays

Her head on my chest I hug her back and kiss her head, she smells like a cupcake, I love it 

Mary"how's my man? Lonely since soph ditched you for her papa?"

Me"hey now(I laugh) she loves her daddy , papa too but I think the promised trip to froyo helped ",

Mary"oh I'm sure I could be bribed with some froyo so..."

I laugh then kiss her she runs her hand over my back and kisses me back a deep kiss that makes me feel on fire I lift her off the ground 

Still kissing her and lay us both on the couch 

Mary"I love you Sal(she runs her hand thru my hair ) so much you know that , with all that I am "

I touch her face and look into her eyes 

Me"baby I'm so aware how much you love me, you show me, I see it, feel it"(I kiss her lips gently and then her neck she loves when 

I kiss her neck, she shivers, or will moan really quietly, I love it 

Mary"remember in highschool, prom I think that night is when you first kissed my neck like that, and ever since I've never 

Wanted you to stop ",

Me",yes I do, you shivered then infact you moaned too (she blushs , love it) it's so soft I love your neck , I love your whole body "

Mary"well....Mr Vulcano, would you like to love my whole body in the shower ?"

I raise my eyebrow, nod yes then nip her neck she giggles and I pull her up we are headed up the stairs and her cell goes off she 

Stops to see who's calling it's her brother Anthony, I hear her pick it up, I see her face frown I can hear him he's loud and or yelling she 

Looks at me then the floor she's not saying anything I don't know why she rolls her eyes and hangs up after about five mins 

Me"uh what was that about?"

Mary"nothing I...nothing "

Me"no not nothing what's up?"

She sighs heavily I'm standing by her now she fiddels with her sleeve then looks at me, telling me Angie went home sick from 

Being mad at her, a headache and Angie went home and told Anthony, he called to say she was just trying to help and Mary was rude 

Me"so...she gave you a number to a therapist for us?"(she sits on the step nods yes I wait then sit next to her)"do you....wanna see one? Like

You and me go as a couple?"

She looks at me

Mary"you would do that ? I mean you want to?"

I nod yes, I mean it's not my first or even second choice but it could help us and that's all I want 

Me"I would baby, I want us to be ok "

Mary-"we are ok Sal!"

I look at her and smile, just smile cause we are not ok but I'm not going to upset her more than she is right now 

Me"I'll go baby, you make the appointment, we can go ok?",

She looks at me, she looks scared dammit why does she look like that? This will be good, right?

Mary-"ok we can go "

Me",but Angie she's nosey bitch (she nods in agrreance she's been telling Mary for months I'm not good for her she can fuck off

She doesn't know how we feel, no one does but us I lean over nudge her shoulder with mine she smiles at me 

Me"we still going to shower ?"

She stands up leans over placing her hands on my chest kisses me then whispers in my ear ",come fill me up baby, oh fuck 

Let's go)

 


	5. Anxiety , yeah I've got that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *sexual content ahead*

I step into the shower, the water feels so good, I'm waiting for Sal he went to make sure the doors are locked , I am so surprised he agreed to go

To a marriage therapist, but a part of me feels so loved, he cares that much he is willing to come out of her comfort zone my god please let

This work, I need this to work, please I hear him walk into the bathroom he opens the shower door and steps in, he's so sexy he smirks and  
Pulls me into  
His gorgeous naked body

Sal"my dad called , sophie wants to sleep over I said ok, is that good honey? "

Me"sure, she has PJs there?"

Sal"yes and a toothbrush she told her papa to tell us shed FaceTime us later "

me"aww our sweet baby girl, she's pretty great "

sal"she's the best like her mama, and I do love (kissing my neck oh god I love that) her mama "

me"Sal (I kiss his chest and move my lips to his face kissing it slowly gently )you are so sexy "

he moves me against the shower wall hands on either side of me on the wall he licks his lips his eyes his face 

the way he's looking at me my stomach is doing flip flops 

Sal"you my wife, my love, are the sexy one, you make me very excited "(I glance down and I do see he's quite excited 

i kiss him and kneel he looks down at me )"baby I....(i put my finger by my lips to let him know shhh let me do what i 

knelt down here to do I take hold of him and lick him up and down I circle my tongue over the head he sucks his breathe in 

I look up he's watching me I take him in my mouth what I can't fit , I stroke with my hand, he's moaning now I'm 

swirling my tounge around it he slaps the wall and groans I feel his hand in my hair tugging it his left leg Starts shaking 

I know he's close when that happens I suck harder he moans loudly and cums I feel his hand lessen the grip on my hair 

I finish up, and stand up the steam from the shower made his hair plastered against his face so sexy he puts his hand under 

my chin, and kisses me delving his tounge against mine after he breaks from the kiss he smiles 

Sal"that was, perfect my Girl knows what I like "

me"oh that I do sweet Sal, my Sal "

i run my fingers thru his hair he grabs me by my waist and grinds into me , I put my arms around his neck he lifts me up 

I wrap my legs around his waist 

sal"you want me."(I nod yes and lick his neck )

thats the reason right response "(he puts me against the wall it feels cool on my back, he easily slides into me 

I gasp and squeeze his shoulders)

me"ooh Sal, mmmm "

sal"feels good baby , it fuckin feels amazing "(he moves all the way out then thrusts back in I yell his name and 

dig my nails into his shoulders)

me"Sal....Sal do not stop, ! Oh my god Sal!,,"

sal"ooh baby ...I'm close I (he reaches down to rub my clit he looks up into my eyes my god those eyes )"cum baby 

cum for me, (his words just throw me over the edge i cum hard my legs shaking around him, he cums in me grunting 

he holds me as close as he can against him slowly we undo ourselves from one another breathing hard he hugs me 

to him and kisses the top of my head I hug him tight , he kisses my earlobe he whispers in my ear he loves me 

my heart feels like it can burst  , in a good way my Sal ...) 

 

few days later we are sitting next to one another on a couch in Dr Berg s office I want to puke, Sal is nervous 

I take his hand in mine Dr Berg smiles at us 

dr"so this is what I like to call an open door policy , both of you feel free to tell me anything you can't say anything 

wrong here ok."(we both nod )"so Mary, Sal, which one of yi would like to tell me what brings you here, I did read 

some background that you wrote down on the forms, you've been married almost five years, have a three year old 

daughter , dated in high school, some college , broke up, then reconnected in your thirties , Mary you own a 

bakery with your brother, Sal you are on Tv, a comedian so ...who would like to start ?"

sal wipes his hands on his jeans clears his throat then holds my hand again 

Sal"I , we came here to get help, or advice for our marriage, I...we have been having some problems for about 

nine months now, I....uh...(his voice is shaky ) there was an assistant that worked on my tv show, we talked alot

it turned into flirting, then emails , texts back and forth, I know it was wrong I knew it was , I was , we Mary and i

seemed to be disagreeing on everything , except Sophie our daughter, but even that changed after a while 

I was gone a lot we had many tour dates m bus tours back to back , and when we weren't doing that we were filming 

I also do stand up at comedy clubs , I was away a lot true, but she knew, thought she knew it may happen, it's 

a once in a lifetime what happened, carreer wise, ...I guess the person I talked to, flirted with made me happy, 

she was a distraction to what I was going thru, I let it go to my head, and uh,,,,eventually Mary found out, I told 

her, and I've never been so sorry or felt so bad for what I did to her (he's crying now, my Sal) she didn't deserve it 

I hurt her a lot, she's the , my wife, my love and (I start crying I hate this he looks at me tears on his face )"I'm so

sorry baby , I am baby I never meant for any of it to happen "(my hearts breaking I don't like this 

i don't want to be here , this will help.?"


	6. We are really doing this?

I look over to Sal, I am wiping my face from crying he 's still upset but he s not longer crying, I can't understand how this will help us, I need to keep an open mind but at this very moment

I can't. I watch Dr Berg writing on his legal pad, I am pretty sure I want to

rip off that stupid bow tie he is wearing from his neck and jam it down

his throat, problem is would it be premeditated since  I am thinking of it

or just a random act of violence? hmm, Sal is very quiet  I really hope

we are almost done, I look at the clock on the wall, MY GOD we still have

45 min, we've only been in here 15 minutes! Dear God give me strength

Dr"SO mary how do you feel about what Sal just said?"

me"sad, that he was, is so upset"

Dr'Just sad? are you feeling anything else? anger?(yes at you ), fear(yes the

fear of when I jam that bow tie down your throat I may end up doing Jail

time) any other emtion?"

me"no...just sadness"

Dr"because you don't like to see him upset or sad ?"

Me"yes that's accurate "

Dr"so what is the woman's name you were ..conversing with Sal?"

I feel my whole body tense, why does this need to be said? I call her

a dirty whore bitch , so I mean I think that name is good enough

Sal(he sighs) "Nicole"

Dr"you notice you dont' refer to her by her name,is there a reason?"

sal"we...just ...well mary asked me to never say her name again so I

said that's fine"

Dr"and why is that Mary?"

that's it I am lunging on this jerkface and cramming that tie way down

his throat , is he serious right now??!!!

Me"beacause I don't need to hear her name,I know it, I have met her

why would I want to hear or even utter the woman , the home wrecking

whore that thought it was OK to email and text my husband? I see

no purpose to it"

Dr"well there is a purpose to it., you say you met her?"

me'yes a few times at some events the network had for the show

and once in California "

Dr'and Sal had you already begun the texting back & forth when mary

met her?"

sal"no, not...the first time, by the time we went to Cali, she I mean

I was emailing and..texting her, I had my family with me on

that trip"

I am going to throw up, I think so, or punch someone

Dr"ok and had you known when you met her?"

me"uh no, I had no idea,. do you think I would have been in

the same proximity of her? no I would not have ,nor would my child"

(I cringe at that thought)

Dr"most of your anger is towards Nicole (say her name one more time

asshole) you don't have any anger, or mad at Sal, he played a role

in it"

me"I was mad at him, I know what he did. SHE also knew he was married

she pursued him, she also knew he has a little girl, and yet she pursued

him, yeah I am MUCH more mad  at that  bitch then I am at Sal!"

I can feel Sal's eyes on me, I look straight ahead as Dr bow tie

writes on his damn legal pad

Dr"ok , that's good to know, sal did you know she felt this way?"

Sal"I...well yes and no, I did not know she put more of the blame on

Nicole( I look at him glaring at him he said her name) but uh..I

know I am to blame too, and I think Mary does too"

I watch him write down more we talk a little more and thank

you God it is time to go! 

We drive home in silence I really do not want to rehash anything

that was said in there, he looks uneasy he keeps glancing at me

I really do not like that at all

me"sal do you want to say something?"

Sal"you are upset, I know you are, I know that was not easy

we will be saying things that are hard, maybe some things we don't

want to say but it s going to help us"

me'Oh ? is it? so me having to hear about that bitch is gonna help us?

ha funny, cause to me it just makes me angry!"

Sal"we need to and if you are angry its good you get it out now

we need to talk , you pushed it aside after it happened I mean you

were mad, you let me know how you felt, there was yelling

and crying and....but after  you just ...shoved it aside"

me"was I supposed to bring it up daily? like at breakfast or maybe

at Soph's soccer game? or wait I know at Thanksgiving?"

Sal"no! you know I am right , just say it"

me"I am DONE talking about it Sal, DONE"

he shakes his head and drives, he knows I mean it and I do

I am SO done , and if he thinks I am going back to that Dr , ha

that will not happen, talk about it..what the hell for? so I can

be reminded my husband was flirting with a whore? yes

let's have that in our daily routine, Fuck that and fuck this

I just want to get home to Sophie , I know she s having fun

with her Uncle Brian, but I miss her.

 

Later 

Me"aww Bri she loves spending time with you "(going thru some pics they made, sal and soph are upstairs bath time )"thanks so 

Much for staying with her"

Q"no way, thank me I love her, love drawing and watching the Disney channel I did learn today that Sophia the first is quite the 

Singer (I smile, he's so sweet he's been so good to us all, especially since what happened and worried I know )"really it's never a thing 

Anytime she's my goddaughter, and she thinks uncle Brian is pretty cool, her words not mine "

Me"I'm sure she does......(I'm putting away the clay they played with hes talking about soph I'm listening but thinking about today 

And just start to cry he stops looks at me I turn away and wipe my face, he moves to me 

Q"hey what's ....is it from today ?"(I nod)" hey mare it's ok come on it's good your going , it is I know not easy but...good you went 

And sal he loves you , he wants to do this, he's been so worried"

I look at him, he's so kind

Me"I'm not sure I can do it, go again it's so hard Bri , and why? Why did he do it! ? I'm ...she's got what I don't have?"

Q"nothing, she's got nothing over you "

Me"then why?...I'm sorry Bri I don't mean to ...do this sorry "(I'm crying more now he hugs me and let's me cry )


	7. No, I'm not agreeing to that

I came down after putting Sophie to bed, Q had come up to say goodbye , Mary s cuddling with her in her bed, I go to the fridge to get a beer

I'm just about to join my girls upstairs when my cell rings it's Joe 

Me"hey Joey what's doing?"

Joe"hey...buddy uh...wanted to see how the appointment went ?"

Me"uh.....ok.?...maybe too soon to tell "(I leave out the part about mare saying she's not going back)

Joe",ok...good...good "(he's not saying anything , he's too quiet when he does this, is when he doesn't want to tell me something)

Me"Joey what's up? I know you wanna tell me something",

I hear a sigh, oh man this isn't a good thing 

Joey"Murr called me, he was Tru offices today just having a meeting about some promos (we usually have him go in for those ) and uh

Nicole s back "

Oh wtf did he just say??? No no she can't be, not now, not ever fml 

Me"wtf? Why is she back?"(I walk to the steps to be sure she's not coming down I can't work with her, I don't want to work with her they 

Let her go, does he know why she's back??!!"

Joe"she begged for her job back and I guess threatened a lawsuit stating they had no real reason to fire her"

Me"uh yeah they did she turned into some crazy ass fucking stalker who wouldn't leave me alone! Joe I can't have this! My marriage Mary 

Will lose it, things are hard enough!!!"

Joe"I know, ok Sal ca!m can, listen to me buddy, I'm telling you to have a heads up, Murr said he's going in Tuesday before we film 

And asking for a meeting stating he won't work with her, I'll do the same, I'm sure Q will, we can't have that disruption in the show, on our set,

Around you, it's not going to fly with us, I mean she's bat shit crazy we got your back Sal "

Me"thanks Joe, I can't have her around me, I just can't I appreciate you guys so much, I love you guys "

Joe"sal best friends a lifetime, now don't sweat it, enjoy your wife, and sweet baby girl, we will handle this ok?"

 

Me"Sophie have you decided on which waffle you wanted ?"

Sophie"um....hmm I think booberry "(sal chuckles)I like dat one mommy "

Me"ok two booberry waffles it is, Sal what would you like?"

Sal"I'll get some alpha bits haven't had em in a while "(I watch him get his favorite cereal I can tell something is on his mind 

Perhaps the appointment yesterday,, I wonder but I'm not going to obsess over it )

Sophie"mommy what time do I dance ?"

Me"your dance class starts at six feet fifteen , are you excited to go ?",

Soph" oh I am, daddy you get to come watch me today!"

Sal"and I've been looking forward to going ever since you started while I was on the tour, mommy sent me pictures of you 

In class, I've gotta say you are the cutest there year old in a Tutu I've ever seen, you've got the moves too baby girl "

Soph"your funny daddy, I love dance, mommy said I get that from you, the dancing fun, I'm a dancer!"

Me(I kiss her head and set her waffles and glass of milk down )"what time will you be back from your meetings?"

Sal"I'm leaving at four thirty regardless so I'm at her dance class in time , we start at twelve thirty hope on time you know 

How I hate having my time wasted "

Me"yes, I do , hope it starts on time too for you , and....us "(I smile he winks at me , I get lost in those eyes of his 

Way too much )

 

Q"look we've been over this how many times? We as in us four are not working with her , so what's so hard to understand?"

Murr"it's not hard so I don't see why this is progressing so slowly?"

Pete"she has threatened to sue Tru TV, the executive s don't want negative attention, and (looking at me) it'll all come to light 

What happened with her and Sal "

Joe"so she's more or less blackmailing Tru, us , it's bullshit and everyone in this room knows it is !"

Me"guys, I'm not working with her, IF she has to stay , I don't want her around me I have rights here too, she more or less 

Stalked me after I stopped talking to her, so how's it ok she can come back (I put my hand up)"I know I know she got herself a 

Lawyer, I'm just letting you know I want her no place near me, cause I'll get lawyer too I'm not playing games I'm not risking ....

Well you know , I'm not, put her someplace away from me, heck these guys don't even want to work with her!" 

 

Me(I see Sal walk in he sees me and comes over )"she's in there they haven't started yet "(he looks into the room. Thru the glass and 

His face lights up when he sees her ) 

Sal" I mean look at her, she's so damn cute that Tutu cracks me up omg I love it ",(he laughs and takes my hand as we watch her thru 

The glass, he s like a little kid, this is so much better being here than that awful office , we miss him when he's gone much more than 

I realize, much more than maybe I want to admit )


	8. FML

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *sexual content ahead and physical pain*

I'm putting some of Sal's clean clothes by his suitcase , he's playing chutes and ladders with Soph in her room , I hear alot of laughter 

Makes my heart full, he's headed out to tape a show in Indiana to air on TV only gone three days so much better than three weeks 

We have an appointment scheduled for Dr Berg when he gets back, he talked me into it I guess I can do this , for him , I would 

Do anything for him ,even when l don't want to, yeah I love him that much. 

 

Sal"ok I have to say I feel bad, as usual about leaving "

He's finishing packing his suitcase after we put Sophie to bed , he told her he'd see her in the days in her little three year old mind 

That didn't set well, she forgot he was leaving , we made her a calendar the daddy s on tour calendar But that was not a success this 

Time , he's so upset I don't want that for me the night before he leaves 

Me"honey she will be ok, she misses you of course, but she knows your coming home soon and this is what her daddy does 

She's grown up with this way of life, and it's not hurting her , as she gets older she'll understand even more "

Sal"will she? Or will she grow apart from me? I worry about that, you know Bob, Jay they have older kids , they said they basically 

Grew up without them, they are teens, and they missed so much, I can't even handle that Mare I can't !'

I walk over and wrap my arms around him, look up at his face, his eyes are shining, tears glistening

Me"she's not growing up without you, she's not going to grow apart from you , she loves you , you two have such a bond Sal 

It's hard I know, she's not going to not love you. She adores you. , As she gets older she will understand more, sure she may get upset

You'll get a grumpy teen from time to time, all normal stuff , hurts your heart right now, I know (he nods his head)

Sal"when she cries I literally feel pain inside me, it's worse when I caused her to cry, I know we talked about this, when we decided to 

Start a family, right now though it's reality, and I hate it babe",

I kiss his sweet face and hug him tighter , we stay like that a few minutes, then he moves back 

Sal"thank you, I...you always make me feel better "

Me"anytime babe, anytime"

He puts one more thing inside his suitcase zips it up and moves it by the bedroom door, starts getting undressed he's so sexy 

I love all that is Sal he gestures for me to come to him , he's only in his boxer briefs mmmmm nice he pulls me up to kiss him 

My feet leave the floor he moves us to our bed laying on me, I love feeling his body on mine, he slowly kisses my neck, my god 

I want to devour him, nothing and I mean nothing makes me feel so warm inside, he knows I love it and has fully used it to his

Advantage over the years , he leans up looking at me 

Sal"you know , I am thinking you have too many clothes on, I mean here I am, just boxers and you have on a top, pj bottoms 

Panties, i mean it's not fair, I Need , I want naked from you, what do you say to that? ",

I smile coily at him he moves off of me I stand up and lift my shirt up and over my head , off, he's staring at my chest I slowly pull down my 

Pj bottoms , he's smiling , I place my hands by my hips he looks at me I pull at my panties, his eyes are fixed on them I slowly pull them 

Down snd off a groan falls from his lips, he puts his hand out I take it and move back onto the bed he's over me I reach down snd 

Pull his boxers down, he gets them off and we kiss I feel his thumb press against my clit and feel the heat in me rise he moves it back 

And forth then presses on it, my god it's such a sensation,

Sal"feel good ?"(I nod yes,)" this will have to last you for three days "

Me"mmmmm I've gone alot longer than three days baby , with out your touch , it's no fun"

Sal"thats why tonight I'm making love to you, I want to feel , explore you, I mean so many different ways to be intimate 

I mean (he enters me and I gasp my god so good)"there s making love,(he's pumping in me slowly ) there s oral, which is 

A favorite of mine ,"(I bite my lip, that's something he excels in)"there s fucking, fast and hard (I gasp I love his words the sensation

Of him in me)"sex , whatever you name it with you , I can't get enough of"

Me"sal...ooh (he's moving at a more rapid pace but nothing fast, he really does want this to last , I love it and him I'm starting to

Get close his thumb still rubbing my clit is making me very close he sense's it and strokes it more I feel my body tense then 

Cum he keeps moving in and out , a little faster he moans into my mouth kissing me I feel him shudder as he cums I can't

Get enough of this man, he is the love of my life .

 

Q"I'm telling you there is nothing in there I want , we are stopping at Burger King after he's done getting his nasty sushi "

Joe"it's not bad, but I gotta say bk sounds really good man "

Sal"fellas our bus driver s gonna be like another stop, damn these guys can eat "(laughing )

Joe"ahh Randy knows he likes getting good too right Randy ?*"

Sal(laughing )"Joe Randy went it with Murr to get sushi ",

Joe"see! Point proven !"

Q"I'm trying to not fall asleep i need to nap later and it'll disturb that nap, if I do now ",

Sal",hashtag real world problems bro "(laughter )

Guys I wanna say again, thank you for all you did for me at Tru, you two and Murr, just thanks I mean she's back but at least 

She can't come by me, it'll be a good thing "

Q"yeah it will, hell maybe she's gonna get so uncomfortable she'll leave..."

Joe"now that I'd stand up and cheer for "

Sal"be nice, but away from me I didn't tell Mary, I can't even, I don't want to, I know I need to...but..."

Q"you will , just I know you will sal, when the time is right.,I know it won't be easy, but once it's out you'll both work 

Thru it sal "

Sal",I hope so....."

 

Me"Sophie come on baby (I pick her up carrying her into Tru TV offices they called and asked if I could come 

Get paperwork Sal need s when he gets home, he's home Sunday when they are closed , I see daisy treceptionist

Daisy",Mary hi, hey there Sophie , oh my she's getting big, so pretty ",

Me"thank you Daisy, she's my precious girl, "

Daisy"your daddy is always talking about you , it's so nice to see you both, Mary give me a few minutes I'll go get the paperwork"

Me"thanks Daisy "(I sit on the couch with Sophie out of the corner of my eye I see someone walk by and feel they're eyes on me 

I am fixing Sophie s hoodie I look up and feel all the air in my lungs leave, I feel hot, sick , my stomach feels funny how is the bitch 

Standing here, here!!!! I stand up holding sophie I feel light headed? No it's anger 

Soph"mommy who's that lady?"

Soph is pointing at her , I turn to the desk I hear footsteps I think it's Daisy I hope it is 

Soph"mommy who's that lady??"

Me"no one Sophie  , no one that maters "

Daisy comes back talking to me I can't even hear what she's saying I say thank you to her I hear her say something about Soph I 

Don't know I have to leave, that , why is she here? How long has she been back? why is she back???!! Omg does he know? He has to

And didn't tell me???!!(I'm at the SUV putting soph in her booster she's talking to me, I stop breathe in and out compose myself for her 

I ask her what she wants she asked for water I hand her a bottle close the door I'm standing outside the SUV ok, calm down

I reach in my pocket and call Sal, no reply ok, I hang up, I can't talk , not to his voicemail I text him , about what happened

Why is she here? Did he know?  I hit send I breathe in and out , I want to just get Soph and I home , I get in and then turn on the radio

I don't want Soph to see anything is wrong, she starts singing along, I focus on her and her singing , we are in traffic but moving I

Get up to a red light , I'm making a right , we get the green arrow and I turn, I hear tires screech then a loud pop, I hear metal crashing 

And the street moving to the side? I hear Sophie screaming ,  I try to turn to her but we are tipped over? Then all! Goes black..

 

We just got done with the 7:30 show , we are in our waiting rooms as I call them, the guys and I are relaxing , eating I look over and 

See my cell  is done charging , and a new text and mised call  I go to open it when our tour manager comes rushing in 

Q"hey Mike you ok? 

Joe"what's wrong?"

Murr and I look at him 

Mike"I got a call, they couldn't get a hold of you Sal, "

Sal"who couldn't get a hold of me?",

Mike"sal, ....Mary and Sophie were in car accident, a Staten island officer got a hold of me, I don't know I mean he wouldn't 

Tell me , just that 911 took them to the hospital, mercy Hurst ",

I , can't even ..wait what???!!

Sal"wait are they ok?"

Mike"he wouldn't say...wait (his phone rings )it's the policeman"(,he gets on tells them I'm here hands me the phone all 

Three guys are by me now 

Sal"hello? This is Sal , ",

Officer",Mr sal Vulcano"?

Me"yes, my wife, my daughter, were in a car accident are they ok? What happened?!! Is my wife there can I talk to her?"

Officer"they are being taken to mercy Hurst hospital, should be there by now, can you meet them there?"

Me"I...I'm in Indiana"

Officer"oh....ok is there family, someone here we can call?"

Me"I...um yeah but wait are they ok??!!!"(I'm frantic now he needs to tell me )

Officer"your wife wasn't conscious at the scene of the accident , your daughter was that's all I know Mr Vulcano, now who can I call

Till you get here?"(I give him doms number and I think her brother Anthony s number I don't even know ...I feel Joe take the phone 

And tell me to sit , Mike's calling airlines to get me there quickly

Q"sal, buddy we are figuring out the quickest way to get you there , ok ?"

I nod 

Me",oh my god I gotta get there! Now! I don't even know how they are, or what happened, Sophie has no one there 

He said mary wasn't conscious, Sophie gonna be so scared , no one there she knows (I start crying I'm shaking I need to get to them now )

Me",we I have to leave !!",

Joe"sal were getting you a flight , we just called for a car to get you to the airport come on man I'll go with you get your stuff 

From the bus, it's , they are gonna be ok Sal, I , they will don't worry ok?  We are here for you, I mean here but uh uh (he's so nervous 

My poor friend, I gotta be strong for him, he's going to fall apart, fuck this I can't , we can't send him back alone I text Mike 

We need to cancel the show, everyone s upset this is no good, I love our fans, but we can reschedule, this comes first


	9. Betrayed

By the time we land, and I get a taxi to the hospital its almost midnight

I talked to Dom he got there shortly after my girls arrived to the ER

Sophie is ok, she has some cuts, she has a bruise on her arm & leg but

her booster kept her safe, Mary has a concussion I talked to her briefly since

Dr's were in her room to examine her, I just want to hug them close to me

Dom gave me the room number so I can bypass the desks I walk in Sophie

is sleeping on Dom s lap he's half asleep , Mary is asleep in the hospital bed

I go over to her and hold her hand her head is wrapped with a bandage

her bottom lip is cut, she has a bruise from her  temple on her left side down

to her cheek my poor baby , I kiss her hand then her head and go over

to Soph I tap Dom he wakes up I gently take  Sophie from him

and hold her to me , kiss her and sit next to Dom

Me"Dom, I ...can't thank you enough , I just .."

Dom(puts his hand on my back) "sal that's my sister and niece where

else would I be? Come on Sal you are my family , nothing I would not do for

any of you , Anthony  & angie left a bit ago, Dr said she can go

home tomorrow, they kept her for observation, Soph is ok she had

an Xray , checked her out, I was with them for the Xray that's when

I just got here"

Me"she was scared wasn't she?"

Dom( I see him hesitate ) "yeah...but once she saw me...she was ok I mean

she wanted her Mom , & then was asking for you  (I feel my heart drop)

but I talked to her, held her, the nurses were so great with her Sal & the

pediactric Dr, she was ok , scared, she told me about the ambulance

uh not too much about the crash, just that they fell , in her words since

the SUV rolled ( I feel sick to my stomach), Yeah the policeman talked to

me , they looked at the scene, a lady in a truck ran the red light, Mare

was making a right turn on green and , she side swiped her, she was

flying cause she rolled the SUV cop said she had to be doing at last 50-60

when she hit them, thank God they are ok , could have been....well

anyways, Sal you are here, Sophie will be so happy when she wakes

up and sees you , I know Mare will too, (he puts his arm over my shoulder)

Sal they are ok , you re here that's what matters"

Me( I nod I have a lump in my throat I can't talk , he understands

he stands up and goes to   kiss Mare bye, then leans down to kiss

Soph)

Dom"need anything before I go? I can get it"

me"no I am ..good...I know you have to go open the store in 3 hours "

dom"ok I will call later, check on them, gonna get some sleep before

the baking starts, take it easy bro(he pats my back then goes Sophie

is sound asleep I move so my back is against the reclining chair now and

place the foot rest up, I move her so she s against my chest and pull the

blanket they gave her up on her , I try not to let my mind wander but it

does , this accident could have been so much worse, my God the thought

makes my body shake I pull Sophie tight to me , I look over  at my wife

sleeping, I know she was in pain, still is I am sure, I would rather it was

me not her, Not my Soph, I hold her tight and close my eyes

 

I am so glad to be home, I hate that hospital , ok I hate any hospital

I am in our bed , Sal is downstairs with Soph and my mom and his

and I think my brother Anthony , I am happy to be up here they all

mean well, but I am in NO mood for any of them, Sal and I have not

talked about what I know, nor has he mentioned the text I sent him

place and time, and truth be told when I woke up and saw him

holding soph both of them sleeping I cried like a baby, I know he

was so worried, guilt I know he also feels, which he should not, well

about the accident that is... I hear someone coming up & close my

eyes I fake sleep, I really am not in any mood, I hear Sal call my name

he leans in and kisses my cheek I hear him set something on the

night stand next to me, he puts his hand on my head gently

kisses my head and says I love you , love you so much baby

then he goes, I am not faking sleep anymore I really am exhausted.

 

A few days have passed, Sophie is with her Uncle Brian he took

her shopping and for lunch , she was so excited to go and me too

she has been clinging to Sal since we got home, I mean will not let

him out of her sight, at any point he had to shower with her sitting the

bathroom back to the shower doors as she colored, her getting out

and getting back to normal is what she needs, when she was

not clinging to Sal she was checking on me, fussing over me as

cute as a three year old can, sal is in the office working on some

writing I go in and set down a Snapple for him I sit on a chair

by his he turns to look at me

Sal"thanks babe, just finishing up here"

me"sal..can we...I need to talk to you "

he turns in his chair and puts his pen down

sal"I had no idea she was coming back, I found out from Joe, the

four of us went in to tell them we can't wont' work with her

came to an agreement she wont' be around me, well is not allowed

around me,. I know I should have told you I was planning on it when

I got back from Indiana, I do not want her there , I am trying to

figure out a way to get her gone, but...I don't know"

me"the day of the accident I saw her, at Tru, when I went to get

your papers, well you know that, but seeing her there and knowing

you could have told me before hand, I would have never have went there

Sal, I felt...so ...betrayed by you , I left there in a haze, I had to compose

myself to drive home, and no that's not why we had the accident, but

how could you not tell me the moment you knew? She s the reason our

problems got worse, she s a home wrecking bitch, to see her, to look at

her , I can't even Sal( I start to cry) she can't be there Sal, I wont have it

I can't, and if she is around you , well...I can't be Sal, I am not going

thru this again, I ...gave this a lot of thought, Sal and I can't"

He looks at me his face in utter sadness and despair

Sal"you would leave me?"(he says just above a whisper I do not reply)

I don't want her there, I you think I do? ( I do not reply) you can't leave me

you are just mad, you don't mean this Mary"

me"I do sal, I love you with all I am , but I can't do this ...again "

Sal"I love you , I can care less about her I love YOU , my heart belongs to

YOU and Soph, my God you can't end us, I can't be away from you

or Soph  I just can't "!!!(he looks at me he s crying I feel so bad dammit

I can't take this, but why should I feel bad? he did this to us not me!)

this is not..please think about this Mary"

me"I have long & hard Sal, I just (I hang my head crying he stands there for what seems like forever)

sal(very soft spoken)" I can't with out you , I can't not see Sophie everyday

be in the same house, it will kill me, I will have nothing without the

two of you , nothing else matters to me , nothing you can't see that

you just see the mistake I made, that I regret daily , you can't see

that I would never hurt you like that again, you just see what you want

to , I wish you could see ...(he s crying more now I hear him shove his

chair into the desk, in a few moments I hear the front door close and

his car leave, what have I done?  I needed to do this, he has to

understand this, I feel like something has died in me, I move to the

couch in his office and just cry


	10. This isn't happening

I'm waiting for Sophie to get back, it's been over and hour since Sal left, regret is starting to fill my mind, I was mad well still am

But , I know Sophie miss him terribly, and could we separate and be in the same house? No? Idk...my heart hurts, my head hurts 

I want to go back in time, before our problems. Before what happened. I know I can't, but I wish I could I hear a car door and look out 

The window too see a red Jeep, Brian and Sophie are back I open the door Soph runs in Bri behind her carrying a build a Bear box 

A target bag and a smile 

Me"well I see someone went to build a Bear today "

Soph"oh mommy it was and uncle Bri, look (she reaches into the box that bri placed on the floor and pulls out a stuffed monkey wearing 

A blue Tutu and holding a soccer ball)see mommy my monkey Q is a ballerina soccer player like me!"

Me",well, I just love monkey Q , (I laugh and smile at her then Bri )she's just adorable like you little girl "

Soph"I love her, I wanna show daddy "

Me"he's not home, he will be...soon, honey "(she looks distraught then nods her head and smiles)

Soph"ok mommy soon? ",

I hope so...

Me",I think so I'll text him "

Soph"yes, a text mommy, uncle I had lots of fun you too?"

He kneels down to face her 

Bri"I had so much fun! And I got a monkey named after me, I mean how can it get any better than that?"

She giggles and hugs him kisses his cheek and runs to show her goldfish monkey Q

He stares at me then stands up 

Bri"sal texted me, I'm ..well idk anything you need? Or that I can do ?"

Me"where is he, did he say?"

Bri"no, I told him I was bringing Soph back he said he'd be home later, but not when I got back, my guess is he's driving around "

I nod,  he takes my hand in his 

"I wanna say, he was planning on telling you when we got back ,he wasn't not going to tell you, and she's not allowed around him

I mean i know it's still not a good situation, but ...he wants nothing to do with her "

Me"Bri I love you, Soph loves you, Sal loves you, I know you mean well but I won't , can't put you in this "

Bri"I didn't mean, to , I know just so you know , I hate to see you and Sal unhappy, when you don't have to be "

Me"I appreciate that bri "(I let his hand go and pat his shoulder, he nods and goes another hour and twenty mins pass 

Soph is finding PJs she wants for after dinner, she likes to plan, I hear the garage door open and soph jumps up and runs 

Down the stairs, as sal walks thru the door I hear her yell daddy and his voice talking to her I walk slowly down he's holding her 

While she's telling him about monkey Q he looks at me over her head, his eyes are bloodshot I go to take dinner out of the oven and 

Start making a salad 

Soph"daddy can we go to the park tomorrow?"

Sal"sure we can, baby, sure "(,he kisses her and puts her down, she looks at him then goes to play with monkey Q on her tablet in the 

Living room sal goes to the fridge to get a water , I go into the pantry to get some sides he follows me in and closes the door )

Me"what, ...are you doing?"

He leans over to me, he smells so good, why must he, he places his arms on either side of my face as his hands hold onto the shelf 

Looking in my eyes 

Sal"I know you love me, I know you don't want to be without me, I know your upset and that's ok, be upset, mad, yell at me, call me 

What you want, but, you know you and I can make this work, we don't give up when things get hard, your not only my wife, you are

The mother of my child, you are the one I lost my virginity , you were my first crush, that turned into love, you are my best friend, I have 

Told you things no one else knows, or ever will. You are SO much more to me then you may realize, talk to me about it 

Don't shut me out, going to the therapist will help alot, I'm not going to end us, I know deep down you feel that way I will 

Always be sorry for what I did, there is no changing that, I know, but you (he cups my face )are my one real love, no one else 

Can ever be that but you "(I feel tears fall on my cheeks, and down he wipes them away, he s so sincere , I see this, I feel it , those 

Eyes he has that look into my soul, I do love him, I do have to forgive him, I do need to save my marriage)

Me"everything you said is true, I am going to try Sal, I know , I can't be without you "(admitting it was easy, to him , to myself not as easy 

I'm stubborn I know that, but sometimes I need to admit I need him as much as he needs me, out loud not just in my head)

Sal"I love you , love you forever"(he moves his lips to mine they taste like vanilla, his Eos , they are so soft he's MY husband not hers 

I reach up to move my arms around his neck and press my body into his, I have an overwhelming feeling to touch every inch 

Of his skin, he's mine, it's like I'm proving to him and me he's all mine it's crazy but it's how I feel things are getting heated, the 

Door opens we stop and look at Sophie ),

Soph"why the door shut, you kissing, I'm hungry, are you playing hide and seek?,"(,we both laugh from all her inquiries),

Sal"no not playing hide N seek right mommy?",

Me"nope, just getting some garlic salt, daddy had to get it down I couldn't reach it "

Soph"oh...ok I hungry ",

Me"ok it's almost ready "(,I follow them out Sal turns and whispers to me, we will continue that later ,"(the way he said it the look 

In his eyes have me goosebumps)

 


	11. Past and future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *, sexual content ahead*

I come upstairs after locking up and setting the alarm, I hear Mary singing to Sophie in her room, I go to her door Sophie is in bed Mary

Is laying next to her hugging her to her, singing "you'll be in my heart" we've sang that to her since she was a newborn I lean in the doorway 

This sight before me, makes my life complete, I love what I do, I feel completely blessed , beyond anything I had hoped for, I never thought 

I'd be a Dad, I wanted to when I was alot younger, but when we had broken up, I didn't want that anymore the whole family thing , I was just

Going to do comedy, have some flings, then.....we reconnected, and I was right where I belong, I've gotta fix this, I was mad we were 

Having problems and I let her stroke my ego, I liked her attention, she liked giving it to me, how could I? I wish I knew but 

No one will ever be as good , I won't ever love anyone as much as I love my girl, she looks up and smiles at me she quietly gets up 

I walk in to kiss soph goodnight and Mary turns her lamp off, I put my arm around her waist she leans her head on my arm 

Me"we made that little angel"

Mary"yes we did, she's pretty great Sal, thank you for her"

Me"you carried her for nine months the thank you goes to you Mrs Vulcano"

She kisses my cheek and  we go to our room , we get ready for bed I go in to brush my teeth she comes in and hugs me from behind 

Laying her head on my back I finish up and go turn around 

Mary",wait don't turn around yet",

Me,"ok...."

Mary",Sal what I said before, I ...didn't mean it exactly like it came out, I know you were going to tell me, I know you 

Didn't want to upset me, I know you regret what happened, I know I need to get past this, honestly it's harder than I thought 

But I owe you the chance, I owe us the chance to get past it, and I'm trying , but I can try harder because, I see you , walk into a 

Room I'm in, and my heart still beats fast, I'm excited to know you're coming home after you've been away, I know I was mad at 

You alot, and was angry, and there was not a reason Everytime, for me to be like I was, and I'm not excusing what you did but....I

Guess I can see why, in a way, I love you Sal, i never loved , won't ever love anyone like I love you "

I feel her kiss my back, I turn to look at her , wrap my arms around him

Me"baby, thank you(she nods and reaches up to kiss me, ) hey, why couldn't I turn around?"

Mary"because we are both emotional people and I had to get thru what I wanted to say "

Me"that we are &

Mary"take me to our bed Sal "

I grin and take her hand and lead her to our bed we both lay down I roll her onto me kissing her lips, her face, her neck 

I know the neck kissing will get me a moan or two , and it does 

Mary"you know how much I love that,  those perfect lips, against my skin, mmmmm"

Me"we know what to do, we got much better with time I gotta say "

Mary"agreed but (gently sucks on my neck)you were quite good when we were in highschool, with certain things "

And no need to improve on those "

I smile kiss her deeply, she moves takes her T-shirt off I kiss all her bare flesh, she pushes my boxers down grabbing hold of me 

I shimmy them down and pul her panties down , toshe's so hot down there I can feel the heat, on  me, I tell her spread you legs she 

Does I move down her body and moan , I love her body I  am moving down her body to lick her, in the most sensitive place, as soon as 

My tounge touches her clit she moans and says my name, I love when she says my name when I'm with her , feeling her, against me 

Licking her, she's panting now, I know she's close she says my name again, then cums I feel it, taste it I move up her then push into her 

Mary",ooh ba....ooh I yes, harder sal, mmmmm baby harder , "

Sal"harder my girl what's it harder,?,",

She nods biting her bottom lip that makes me crazy I go harder and faster  she grabs at my shoulders arching her back so fucking

Sexy, I can't hold out any longer, I cum in her , I come hard. I pull her to kiss her, she moans setting her arms around me, I move 

Next to her, she lays her head on my chest , night is perfection, how I wanted our day to end


	12. I am trying

I'm tired, Sophie decided 4:43am was a good time to get up, I put her in bed with us, she didn't fall asleep till almost six chatting away, 

Then singing , Sal barely moved, he can sleep thru anything lucky him, I'm up and showered and browsing on line I hear Sal coming down 

The steps then little feet on the stairs 

Sal"morning babe (he gives me a kiss, looks at me, then kisses me again, this one lingering ) hungry I will make us breakfast"

Me"I am, thank you ,Sophie where is my kiss this morning ?"

She sits on the chair next to me gives me a kiss we, watch as her daddy gets eggs scrambled she looks at me moving her wild morning 

Hair out of her face 

Soph"can I have a baby brother ?"

Sal stops making eggs and looks at me, and soph 

Me"a baby brother? Well, I don't know Sophie, I mean right now me your daddy are enjoying you, time with you"

Soph"well, you can have a baby, you in kiss alot, and then have the sex "

I look at Sal he quickly turns to laugh, his shoulders are shaking 

I try to compose myself 

Me",Sophie, where did you hear that word? Sex?"

Soph"my friend  Jenny in preschool she said her mommy and daddy have the sex and that's how she got a baby brother, she said 

They had the sex alot, then josh he sits at our table, he said it's called fucking, so you and daddy should do that too the fucking ",

Sal doubles over laughing , omg my sweet baby girl just said that??!!!

Me"Sophie thats not a nice word, don't say that again "

Soph"sex or fucking ?"

Sal loses it and falls on the floor, my God what's going on here?

Me"Sophie Daniella Vulcano , neither of those words are nice, and you are not to say them again do you understand me?"

Soph"mommy (clearly unphased I used her entire name or that I'm not pleased with her at the moment , she's so like her daddy)

I just want a baby brother, I not know those are not nice words, you give me one?",

Now that Sal's up off the floor he pulls comes and sits by us 

Sal"Soph (he's grinning like a fool, great ) honey maybe one day you'll have a baby brother, but like mommy said right now you little girl 

Fill our lives up, baby don't use those words again ok?"

Soph"ok daddy , I won't , can I have a puppy?"

Now I laugh ,, ahh how quickly the mind of a three year old works from baby brother to puppy ahh mornings are full in the 

Vulcano household

 

Me"I fell on the floor, my baby girl with the curls and sweet face not only says sex, she adds in fucking "

Joe, Q , Murr cracking up 

Q"my sweet goddaughter, see her potty mouth comes from her daddy, "

Me",hey that Jenny started it, Then Josh saying fucking potty mouth him, not me!"

Us all laughing , enjoying our filming day, challenges , nice weather tonight date night with my girl, I'm having a great day

Even though she's here on set, I'm not going to let that, let her ruin my day.  

 

We are finally done for the day, I say bye to the fellas and head out to my car ,Nicole is standing by it fuck this I'm not starting this 

Me"get away from my car , now !"

Nicole"you , have ignored me all day sal, it's rude, you don't want me here, I know but I am here so&

Me"so nothing you stay away from me I want nothing to do with you"

Nicole"oh? Hmmm I think that's not accurate, I still have the emails, texts, "

Me"so that makes you a fucking weirdo , it's been almost a year , this isn't happening I made a huge mistake, you 

And I have nothing , now go I won't bother you,vyou don't bother me, "

She's mad, good maybe she gets what I said she walks away in a huff, good bye , I'm headed home to my wife, where I belong 

I pull out and notice she's by the door to the store we filmed in today watching me leave, I shake it off and head home.


	13. Date Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Sexual content ahead*

I'm back from dropping Soph off at her grandma and grandpa s house she s excited to have a sleepover with mare's parents 

We are going out to dinner and I booked us a hotel in the same place the restaurant is I made the reservation, I packed clothes and 

Stuff for us yesterday mare has no idea. Wanted to surprise her, make a night away for just us. It's important for us to spend time 

Alone together., With how I was, been away so much reconnecting is what we need. She comes down the stairs 

Me"oh my god babe, you just....(I can't talk she looks at me then down at her dress then me again)

Mary"what? What is it??!!"

I walk the few short steps to her 

Me"the color of your dress, it's the color you wore to prom, I had a flashback, you that night I picked you up , just it reminded 

Me of that night "

She gives me a huge smile and places her hand on my left cheek , caressing it 

Mary",did you know you are the sweetest man ? And, I just adore you ?"

Me"I'm aware, but saying it anytime you want to is A ok wth me 

She leans to give me a kiss, the heels she's wearing help her in the leaning up , usually she's up on her tip toes 

Our height difference does work out quite well during sex....my mind wanders to that, can't help it 

We talk and laugh on the drive, course re-telling the Soph and baby brother story has us cracking up 

Me"she was so sincere, well get it , the sex I need a baby brother , my god that little girl "

Mary"and totally unphased when. I  used her whole name to reprimand her , such a Vulcano"

Me"hey now, she was like mom trying to get my point across chill"

Mary"yep, pretty much, I joke but I'm glad she has your drive, you do not give up on anything"

Me"stubborn too , she's got that trait going for her, from me , sorry babe"

Mary"well, little less stubborn would be nice, but she knows what she wants, that's a good. Way to be 

Me"I knew I wanted you, see that's how this all began"

She squeezes my hand then kisses it, something I love she does, it's endearing, and it just has always melted my heart 

 

Mary"this was a good choice Sal, this food was amazing, and the crème brulee is the best I've ever had, want more?"

She holds a spoon to my mouth and feeds me it's so good , she kisses my lips then my cheek 

I move to her ear and whisper"do you know what I'd like to do to you ?" I feel her face warm up I look at the blush in her cheeks

I love it , she gives me a look, I know that look well 

Mary"no, (she's in my ear talking softly) tell me Sal what would  u like to do to me?"

I smile coyley , whisper in her ear "first start by kissing your neck, that always makes you moan which turns me on greatly, 

Then slip my hands down your dress , move my hand under it and feel how wet you are "

Mary"I'm very wet "

I look at her, she nods yes , I place my hand on her knee and slide my hand up , omg she's not wearing any panties, that's hot, 

And yeah she's very wet I swipe a finger over her clit, my god it's incredible she shifts in the booth and bites her bottom lip"

Me"I have a room upstairs reserved for us "

Mary"you do? Ooh sal you surprised me? I love it and you "....um want to play a game ?"

Me"a game? What kind of game?"( My curiosity is peaked )

Mary"well.....why don't you go get our stuff, bring it to the room then meet me at the bar, "

Me"ok, I can do that, your smirk, I know it well"

Mary"good, as you should"

About 15 min later I come back down from our room she's at the bar with a glass of wine I go over and sit by her 

Mary"hello,...and you are?"

It takes me a few minutes to realize the game, I smile and nod 

Me",my name's Sal, and yours ?"

Mary"I'm Mary nice to meet you Sal, are you here with anyone or just came up to the bar for a drink ?"

Me"nope just me and I came up to get a whiskey and a better look at you "

She smiles and nods, I order my whiskey and take a sip 

Mary"whiskey huh? That's the hard stuff, you like the hard stuff?"

Me"I do, like that hard stuff, .....do you? I'm not talking about the whiskey"

Mary"I do, Sal I do..."(she puts her hand on my thigh and moves her hand up feeling how hard I am )I like that 

I'd love to touch it more, "

Me(I move my hand to her knee and slowly slide my hand to her wetness I rub her clit she gasps )"no panties you 

Naughty girl"

Mary"mmmmm your finger felt so good, you are very sexy Sal (she  leans in kisses me with tounge I moan into her mouth 

And kiss her back )

Me"I've got a room upstairs....wanna go ?"

She nods her head I pay the bill and follow her to the elevator, we get on to other people in it  I push our floor button andshe stands Infront of me 

I push my front into her ass she , pushes my back, my god I love this , our floor comes we get out she follows me to the door 

I swipe the card and it opens she follows me in I instantly pull her into me kissing her, she runs her hand down my back and then thru my hair 

I move my hand under her dress to rub her sweet clit she moans and pushes into me I moved us to the wall she reaches to undo my tie

Then unbuttons my shirt, her hands go to my belt she removes it and zips my zipper down then moves my pants and boxers down 

She looks down then at me 

Mary"omg your huge, you must make women very happy",

Me"I do my best, "(I unzip her dress and pull it down my eyes are fixed on her nipples thru her lacy red bra which I remove 

Then suck each nipple she runs her hands thru my hair )"""baby I'm gonna fuck you, more than once, I'm gonna , I'm gonna lick

Your pussy till you scream, sound good ?"

Mary"more than good, before or after I give you an amazing blowjob ?"

Me"oh baby , after I fuck you , please (I take off remainder of my clothes and yank her dress down I push her down 

On the bed I  take in her nakedness , she's looking at my dick 

"You want this ?" She nods yes and I lay on her 

Me"you want it baby ?*"

Mary"I do fuck me sal, fuck me "

I slide in, she moans and thrusts her hips back I keep up a good rhythm

Me"you are so hot, so fucking good, damn baby"

Mary"you are, my god sal....I ....your dick is huge, I can't get enough of it , fuck me harder !!"

I pull out she looks at me like wth, 

Me"get on your hands and knees "

She does, I slap her ass hard she moans I grab her hips and go deep inside her, her moans tell me I hit her G spot 

Mary"omg do not stop! Fu-ck sooo good!"

Me"whatever you want, I love your pussy "

Mary"it loves you, Sal"

Me"I m gonna cum fuck Mary , I feel it(I reach under her and mash her clit with my thumb she yells my name and cums 

I cum a second after )oooh baby! Omg  your so fucking sexy"

I collapse on her back she lays flat instead of kneeling like she was , panting, I move after a few mins 

To lay next to her she looks at me

Mary"Sal huh? Nice name, even nicer Skil!s "

I grin and kiss her 

"Me"thanks , how can I not wanna try out my skills on you, your fucking gorgeous"

Mary"lay back baby I'm going to give you the best blow job you're never going to forget "

I lay flat and her mouth goes down on me, this night has turned out even better than I planned.  And we just got started.

Po

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	14. She is mine

It's been quite busy in the Vulcano household these past few weeks , we had therapist appointments, it's starting to help us both 

Which is what the goal was, Soph has her first dance recital next weekend, yeah I'm excited for it, and soccer tournament week after next

Yeah all age groups go, three and four year and olds in a tournament, endless amusement.  I'm waiting for the guys to come over we

Are working here today, we take turns at each other's homes when we are planning and plotting for the show , I hear Mary back from

Dropping Soph off at preschool, I'm in my office, she comes in and sets a tea from Starbucks on my desk and a kiss on my cheek 

I hold her hand and pull her onto my lap 

Me"thanks baby, how about more kissing?"(I run my thumb over her bottom lip, she loves that she kisses my thumb then 

Leans into me I put my hand on her back and kiss her, she wraps one arm around my neck the other hand she places on my chest 

I love her lips on mine, she lays her head on my chest )

Mary"Mr Vulcano, your kisses over time have become , hmm what's the word I'm looking for ...deeper or your lips are 

Softer? Fuller? Whatever it is, I love kissing those lips "

Me"Fuller? Like I had lip injection?"

Mary(laughing )",no, no you are a funny man, which makes me laugh and your sexy, so sexy "

Me"and? I mean I know there s more about me "

Mary"mmmmm hmm those eyes, those gorgeous(kisses me)green eyes , I get hypnotic over, your smile, those dimples

On both sets of cheeks, your laugh, oh your assertive ways when we are a-lone ,I love your hands (kisses them)

I mean you know I love what's below your waist"

I grin and pick her up off my lap and grab her waist and kiss her backing her into the couch 

Me"oh I can show what is below my waist Mrs Vulcano"

With that she winks at me and kisses me,... doorbell, dammit 

Mary"aww later baby, your friends are here to play "

I nip her neck and get up and pull her up too 

Me"hey (I put my hand on her cheek) I adore you"(she nods I see her tear up but she's smiling , kisses my lips 

Then goes to let who is here , I know she teared up from happiness, but it's nothing I ever like 

Seeing tears from her)

 

I'm at the grocery store with Soph after I picked her up from preschool , I keep thinking I'm forgetting something so I go thru 

My list again Soph is next to me holding my arm I feel someone brush up against me I turn to see a man looking at me 

I move back and hold Sophie s hand now 

Man"forgive me I didn't mean to bump into you "

Me"no problem"(I push my cart down the next aisle and he's behind me now I pick Soph up I , he's making me nervous

I go quickly thru the aisle up to the the checkout, I turn and no longer see him, wth , am I being crazy? Maybe idk ..I just am 

Always watching the people around me especially when I have Soph with me, you hear and see such horrible things happening

I'm very careful with her , sal is the same way, if not more so, we check out and I see him by the doors to go out he's on his phone 

I don't like it, or him I ask the cashier if a bagboy can walk me out help me with my grocery s mind you I don't have much but 

I'd like someone else with me,  a bagboy in his twenties Push's the cart out I follow behind him carrying Sophie the man turns goes 

Back towards produce , I just want to get out of here I get Soph in her booster , groceries in, I tip the bagboy and leave, releaved I 

Take a few breathes and drive home. I tell Sal what happened, he said good idea getting the bag boy, his face he s worried.

 

Soph"uncle Brian can we make popcorn?"

Bri",yeah we can, we need it for our movie viewing little miss "

Sal"Sophie, me and Mommy will be home after you are in bed, but I'll come kiss you , have fun don't make uncle Brian crazy, 

Well I mean you can, but he may frown on it .

Soph(laughing. I pick her up to see those beautiful dimples and green eyes , give her a kiss , mare walks up to kiss her too)

Mary"see you later sweet pea, Bri see you later, and thank you again for watching her "

Bri"I have a good time, and kids movies are the best...so win win for uncle Brian"

Mary""well have fun!"

Me"anything , text me buddy "

Bri"will do "

 

Sal"it's chilly babe you want your sweater ?"

Me"yes please (he hands me my sweater we walk to the outdoor venue where we are listening to music tonight at a park near our house,. its a friends of ours

her brother s band, its really nice out and the sun has yet to set I lay out the blanket we brought on the grass and set down the bag we have we see some

people we know and I wave I really don't want to be that social tonight, I just want to be with Sal , I sit down and situate myself, Sal sits down next to me

Me"honey we have chairs in the trunk if this is not comfortable,"

sal:"I am good come here (he gestures for me to move infront of him I do he wraps his arms around me  this is good, he moves his baseball cap down a little further

just in case he's recognized , the cap usually works , but the sun going down  helps too & this crowd is a little older so that plays into him being recognized as well ) there

perfect "(he kisses the back of my neck and I get goosebumps & shiver, I hear him chuckle he knows he caused that, after a few songs we head over to get some wine and beer

I go to the restroom , when I come out Sal is almost to the front of the line , I start walking and bump into a man,  I am just about to tell  him I am sorry and I see its the guy

from the grocery store today, I start to panic and go to turn to get to Sal , Mary wait please I just wanna talk to you , I hear him say, I stop )

me"how do you know my name? what do you want? I don't know you my husband is right over there, step off pal"

man"sal , Sal Vulcano, yes I know he s your husband (ok now I am going to run & scream, or maybe scream first)

my name is Chad, I ...am Nicole's husband "(my face drops, husband? I had no idea that tramp was even married)

me"ok and? what do you want? and following me around is really creepy Chad is it? you better tell me what you want now!"

chad"I want you to tell your husband to leave my wife alone"

me"oh no, its the other way around, she came back and she s already started shit, you tell HER to stay away from MY husband !"

at this point Sal is behind me holding a bottle of beer and a glass of wine, he senses something is wrong his look on his face , he s not pleased

Sal"what's going on here?, mare who is this?"

me"chad....Nicole s husband, he s the one that followed me around the supermarket today, and now look he 's here!"

he hands me the wine & beer and steps infront of Chad,

sal"what do you want? stay away from my wife"

chad'funny you should say that YOU stay away from my wife, that's what I came to tell your wife"

sal:uh I am not around your wife, she s the one pursuing me, I told her last week to stay the hell away from me

me(he did? when?)

I didn't even know she was married, so look I wont tell you again you stay away from my wife, my daughter

you got that ?"

chad" yeah well you ..she is mine not yours, I mean I can't take this much more, I know she , well I know what happened before

but she's not, just stay away from her , please"

me(his plea was desperate , he knows about before? ok then...then he should know it was not Sal , I mean that started it

unless she lied)

sal"she s yours? keep her, have her, I want nothing to do with her, before, uh as in last year that was a mistake, I took responsibility for it, she needs

to stay away from me, why she came back I don't know , but people including myself don't want her there "

chad(he looks at me then Sal, then back at me) "would you like it if I flirted with your wife? hmm I bet not Sal "

Sal goes to put his hands on him and Chad jumps back and runs away thru the crowd

Sal'that sob I will kill him!"

me"sal lets  just go, this...lets just go"

 

later at home in our room after Bri leaves , soph is asleep

me"why did you not tell me she was standing by your car?"

sal"because like I told you on the drive home I did not want to upset you and it was nothing we had words

I told her to stay away from me"

me"great and now her dumb ass husand was more or less stalking me, I mean are you kidding me? she s mine

omg keep her pal, I just can't , (I put my  head in my hands) I can't take this, anytime we make positive steps in the

right direction somehow she s in it, ruining it, that bitch HAS to go sal , she can't work with you , you have

to make them see that"

sal"you don't think I tried? Pete s tried, his hands are tied, she has a lawyer, had,. whatever"

me'so you are telling me, she raised a fuss and she caused trouble , was fired but that's ok cause

she got a lawyer & they took her back & yet again she s starting shit and oh well too bad she has a lawyer

(he throws his hands up)

oh ok , I call BS on that , I am ...you know what I am not wasting anymore time with this now, its late

I am tired, ONCE again that bitch made me, us miserable "

I get into bed turn my lamp off and turn my back to Sal he stands there for a few mins then leaves the room

dammit, I am SO sick of it all, I try, keep trying , I love that man, I do...and yet times like this I want to

give up  , I can't I love him , and at the same time I hate what he did to me, to us,. sleep is not

comin anytime soon)

 

 


	15. Who's Stubborn?

Been two days since the Chad encounter, it's been hard , she's only talking to me when she needs to, sucks , I'm trying to make this better 

I'm not doing well at it. I'm waiting to get Soph from preschool standing in the school hallway out she comes with the other kids 

Soph"hi daddy (she hugs my legs I pat her head and pick her up)

Me"how are you sweetie? How was your preschool time ?"

Soph"it was good , ooh we finger painted I love it "

Me(I turn to leave her teacher approaches me, I turn to her)

Miss Melanie"hi Mr Vulvano can I have a moment of your time?"

Me"sure , everything ok with Sophie?"

Mm"oh she s just great , um Sophie would you like to go be sure Mr ears has enough rabbit food?"

Soph"sure !"(I put her down and watch her go into the classroom we can both see her)

Mm" today about 15 min before you got here, someone came to the office saying they were Sophie s Aunt, now I know its either you or Mrs Vulcano

that pick her up, I  know she has Aunts listed in case of emergency , I have met your sister , and never met the other ones I went down to see

who she was because there was no word left  that she was getting picked up by someone else, by the time I got there she had left but Karen in the office

told me she was a taller lady with blonde hair, she the lady had told Karen never mind  you had just texted her & said  you would be here, so would that be accurate?"

me"no, we have no one ,,is blonde I I mean my step sister is but would not have been her, I ...do not know who that was, (yeah I might) but thank  you for telling me"

mm"I thought perhaps an over zealous fan, you know we are very careful here"

me" I know that, and I thank you so much for telling me, I will talk to my wife, but we are the only two that get her, IF that changed we do fill a form out"

MM"yes , I know thank you Mr Vulcano we will pay special attention to this"

I get sophie and pick her up , OMG what if, I mean they let her go with her wtf is wrong with this bitch , I am shaking I am so mad and holding Soph tight

how can I prove it was her? but who else would do this? this is bad, this is taking it over the line, we go get our pizza we ordered for dinner and go home

after Soph is done eating I tell her she can play on my IPAD thats a rare treat for her she claps her hands and sits on the couch, I know it will keep her

occupied I walk into the kitchen where Mare is loading the dishwasher

Me" we need to talk, not about what s going on, I mean something happened today and its not good"

she looks at me, I can see she s worried , I am sure my face is looking just as worried

Mary"ok ,,,what is it Sal?"

I look at her, my God this is not easy  , I tell her what happened at Sophs pre school today , she has a look of terror on her face

Mary"Sal! was it her? it had to be , who else would it be? no one is blonde that s her AUnt cept Debbie and she lives in Jersey even if

we thought it may be her, which it was not , she s too far away, this bitch came to our daughters school to what pick her up? then what?

or was it to scare us? cause guess what it worked Sal!  you have to do something!!"

she s crying now, shaking I hug her tight I promise her I will take care of it she looks at me

mary"this is crazy Sal, its  like fatal attraction shit, my God Sal fix this!!! make it stop!"

me"baby I swear to God I will take care of it, calm down come on "( I rub her back and try to calm her  , I have to get the guys in the know

we , I need a meeting tomorrow stat at tru this has to be addressed , its not just me, its my baby girl, anyone ever comes near her , they will

regret it

 

Joe"ok this shit has to stop! this is her daughter his three year old baby, no way is that right at all!:

Pete"Joe I know, you have all expressed your feelings , now here s what we can do, I talked to Sal late last night 

the school has a tape of who comes in and out, he just thought of that last night, he called already (sal nods) they are

getting a tape to us todaym if its Nicole not only will she be fired from here, but Sal can press crimminal charges , she has no business being at that

school , on our end here I already talked to legal that is enough to get her fired from here, there s a leagal term for it which escapes me at the

moment , as soon as we get that tape it will be handled I promise you all that "

Sal"they will have it ready around 11 I am headed out now to get it"

Q" I will go with you buddy, this has just really pissed me off"

 

me" I should be happy because why?" it was her well great we knew that just needed proof, she was fired great and she

will have a police report filled out on her, well that s just SUCH great news Sal"

Sal"what , I mean why are you acting like this?"

me" its YOUR fault all this even happened!"

sal" and there it is, I know its ALL my fault I am well aware, back to this again? nothing i can do

about the past"

me"no I kNOW this, the past , it just keeps coming back to haunt us, do you think this will keep her away from

you? I hope but I do not know, and neither do you , she was at OUR daughters school Sal, Our baby girl

and I am supossed to just move on like it did not happen?"

sal"no, I never said that, but its a good thing she was caught on the tape, and I think its an isolated incident 

and she wont; ever do that again"

me"well I am SO glad you think that, I mean you know her better than me , right?"

sal"oh man I can;t , I am not doing this again I am tired of this..you bring this up to me, like I do not know 

I fucked up, ok I know I FUCKED UP!"

I look at him I am just disgusted anymore, I dont want to fight I don' t want anything 

I turn to walk out of the kitchen

sal"just gonna walk away as usual? done talking about it, even if I want to ?"

I turn and look at him and nod yes and walk upstairs I hear him slam his hands on the kitchen counter

 


	16. I'm just so tired

I'm up getting Sophie ready for her recital day, we don't have to be there till noon but it's almost an hour away and Saturday traffic can be 

Unpredictable, takes a bit to get her hair up too, I hear Sal walking up the stairs he fell asleep on the couch again last night which 

Is fine with me, we've been irritating one another this week, it's been a great week, not.

Sal"hey pretty girl(,he walks in kisses Sophie while I'm doing her hair in her bathroom)you ready to dance today?"

Soph",,uh huh I am!",

He smiles at her and turns to leave 

Soph"Daddy wait....you didn't kiss mommy morning ",

He looks at me I glance at him he moves kisses my cheek smiles down at soph then goes . Part of me wants to cry, the other part 

Wants to punch him. 

 

Soph"Daddy guess what ?",

Me",what baby ?",

Soph"I'm three and a half today, mommy goods me, I halfway to four!"

Me(I turn into traffic glad it's not too bad )", no way halfway to four? Hey didn't we have an agreement you stay little ....forever?"

I look in the rear view mirror she's laughing shaking her head ...I look over at Mary she's looking out the window hasn't said much to me today 

Or really this past week, I'm getting scared that the silence between us.  Is getting too comfortable.

 

It's in the evening now, soph is asleep, she did such a good job today , beautiful and so sweet, she had a good time 

We had dinner with family after her recital, I faked a smile and sat next to Sal , I don't want anyone in my business, plus I wasn't

Going to ruin Sophie s day, Bri knew what was up , he kept looking at me then Sal, course sal told him so...

I'm getting ready to go upstairs, Sal calls me he's in his office I go in 

Me"yes?",

Sal",can we talk ?",

Me(I nod my head and sit opposite of him on the couch he turns to look at me )

Sal"I'm going to say this, cause I'm really wanting to ....we can't keep going on like this, you barel y talk to me, we haven't

Slept in the same room for a week, it's like its all normal for us when it's not, I know these past few months have been so trying on us 

Our marriage , just seems to keep taking hits, counseling helped , for a while, then we stopped going,  I'm just....i don't know

What to do anymore"

He shakes his head and let looks at me, I'm just so tired of the fighting and back and forth, I'm mad he brought that crazy bitch into

My life, so very mad, I can't get past it I know I said I'd try, and I did, just....I feel sad, lost , angry, I feel bad about myself...still ..it hurts 

When your husband seeks out attention from another woman, I pushed those feelings aside, mistake for sure..

Me"I'm ..so very tired Sal, we keep trying but...it doesn't work I...don't know 

Sal"no it doesn't, maybe ....we should .... separate(the word, he said it , I feel like he punched me in the heart he must really

Want this, I mean I thought I'd be the one to want it, well I'm not going to deny him if he's that unhappy

Me"ok, well will you stay here or live someplace else while ...I mean it's up to you"

Sal"Ithink someplace else, seeing you all the time , too hard , but I won't let Soph know I'll leave after she 

Goes to bed",

My heart is broken I can't believe this 

Me"ok thats fine , I understand"(I get up look over at him hes looking at the floor I walk past him in a haze, go to our room and into

The bathroom I close the door and turn the shower on I sit on the edge of the tub and sob into a towel , I feel like my life is over

He said he'd never leave me, I'd never lose him, I mean I've been such a bitch I know he's sick of it, but he's My Sal how will

I ever do this? I have to learn to, I sit and cry, stop then start all over again I've never felt so heartbroken , so lost, so alone.

 

Brian's Pov

I just sit here with him while he Cry's I'm not good at this for him I try , I hate to see anyone cry, let alone my best friend 

He's a mess , I understand why. I just want to help him, I put my arm around him he's so upset , his crying turns into sobbing 

I feel really bad now 

Me",sal, ....Sal buddy , come on take some deep breaths",

Sal",I....c..ca...can't be.... believe th..this...I  feel like I'm dying "(he leans over holding his stomach he's so wrought with pain I tear up

I can feel his emotions his pain, it's tough to see, tough to hear , after a while his crying subsided he looks awful his eyes are

Red puffy , this poor guy?

Me",want a water? .....a whiskey?",

He nods his head to the whiskey I go to pour us some hand it to him and sit down, he takes a big gulp 

Sal"she didn't even try to stop it, or say no,she s done, with me, our marriage, I mean I said it but I guess I thought she'd say 

No, I mean do I really want this ? No "

Me",then tell her that Sal, cause I bet she doesn't either "

Sal"oh? Well she didn't say that, she said ok.??? Yeah ok so that must mean it's what she wants, fine then she can have and do that

I'm not begging her to come back to me, fuck that! She made her thoughts quite clear!"

Me",and what about Soph?"

His face softens , he tears up 

Sal"I'm her dad, that without a doubt will never change I will see her all the time "

Me",you are stubborn my friend, you know it, mare knows it, don't let your pride cloud your thinking Sal , think about talking 

To her",

He shakes his head no, I see I have to keep working on him, he's a tough one to crack.

 


	17. This hurts .....alot

Me"Dom I don't want to talk about it anymore and Sophie (pointing at her in the bakery office ) is right there "

Dom"well you need to talk listen (he moves closer to me) you and Sal have to work this out its been a month mare",

Me",it's been 36 days" (dammit )

Dom"uh huh....you count the days, mare he's your husband, more than that, it's Sal , your sal, since highschool, the father of your daughter 

I mean how long can you two keep doing this ?"

Me"he asked for the separation, he's living with Brian, he chose this Dominic, I didn't , I miss him yes but he chose this "

Dom"you can tell him it's not what you want, cause I've known him over twenty years, I know he loves you , I know he doesn't really 

Want this "

Me"oh you know? Dom I love you, I know you mean well, I just don't want to discuss it , he's been without me for over a month 

Seems he s ok so....that's that Dom "

Dom"you are just as bad as him , if not worse "

I nod I'm done talking I'm actually sick of talking about it, Sal texted they are filming late but he will stop by to kiss her goodnight  nothing 

Has changed too much for Sophie and that is a good thing she doesn't know and that's my wish , right now , this isn't easy

This hurts ...alot

 

I open the door it's quiet they both must be upstairs I go up past our bedroom they are both asleep on the bed i look at them 

Mary s snuggling Sophie into her, soph is hugging her I really don't want to disturb them , I lean down quietly and kiss soph she 

Smells like baby shampoo, ahh I !I've that smell, I look down at her then mare,  I miss her, it's so hard this separation I sigh 

And go to turn the !amp off on mare's side of the bed, her laptop is on I move my hand on the mouse pad to turn it off and an email

Pops up on the screen, it's from Mia Mare's best friend, , my name is the subject, I move the screen up a little I see what Mia wrote 

I wanted to see mare's reply, I know it's wrong but I do it ....the last two sentences catch my eyes I read it twice, I feel aching in 

My heart it reads "it's so hard I feel lost, lonely I love him and miss him, he's my Sal, for a split second when i wake in the am I forget 

Hes not here till I see his empty space in the bed, and my heart hurts all over again"  she s hurting more than I thought, she won't tell me 

That , I wish she would, I miss her too . I close it and shut the lamp off be sure they are covered and head out to Brian's, head and heart full.

 

I run thru the parking lot Brian is behind me, I can't even see anything else I am late for Sophie s soccer game, playoffs too I hate this 

I see Mare sitting with Dominic , his girlfriend Iinny, I go over set my chair by mare Brian behind me 

Me"how's she doing?"

Mary"great , she just went in, you didn't miss much , hey Bri "

He waves hi to me my brother and linny , my god sal smells so good , his cologne I love it, ok I need to stop , I watch him cheering on soph 

She sees him and waves , he beams, he's such a great daddy, I couldn't wish for better, Sophie is quite lucky to have Sal as her 

Daddy, despite our problems, he's never let that interfere with our daughter. We sit and enjoy the game, when it's over and a victory for her team 

We go over to her shes so excited they won she jumps up and down waving at Sal and I 

Sal"hey Vulcano #11 you rock!"

She laughs and he picks her up , I kiss her tell her what a great job she did, she's so excited , we walk her over to the others while she talks 

To them sal puts her down and turns to me 

Sal"I was wondering, fro yo? She loves it"

Me"sure, just bring her home after "

Sal"no, I meant you too, if you want to, "

I look at him, his eyes I feel like I haven't looked into them forever, so beautiful

Me"yes I'll go, thanks for asking "

He gives me a come on look 

Sal"no, need to thank me, she's our daughter, we both belong there "

I wish he did too, want me, there , back....


	18. It's very worth it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *sexual content ahead*

We get back, I'm carrying soph in over my shoulder she's laughing like a loon, I carry into her bathroom and set her down 

Me"bath time little girl , which bubbles sound good tonight ?"

Soph"ooh I like the one that smells like strawberries daddy "

Me", I do too, good choice little girl "

I give her , her bath she's sleepy but she's still excited about the win, maybe hyped up on froyo still , I get her PJs on

And brush her hair 

Soph"daddy you do my hair good, mommy said some daddy's don't know how you do, I love you daddy "

Me"I love you too baby "(I hug her to me for a few moments then put her in bed, I pick up the book mare is currently reading to her 

And she s sound asleep i kiss her and turn her nightlight on , I go downstairs , Mary's in the dining room cleaning out sophs soccer bag 

Mary"she's asleep huh? (I nod yes) I figured , she was beat and later than usual for her to be up "

Me"yeah didn't even get to the book, 

I watch her move to the hallway to hang the soccer bag up she's up on her tip toes to reach the hook, makes me smile she's 

That short, I stare at her when she turns around, she has a slight blush to her cheeks and walks past me into the kitchen

I follow her 

Mary"thirsty or hungry Sal?"

I shake my head no and walk to her shes leaning on the island she looks up at me I place my hands on either side of her laying 

Them on the island I'm inches away from her she just looks at me, staring at me with her hazel eyes, she moves her right hand to my 

Face cupping my cheek I close my eyes, I love when she does that, I open them her eyes are glistening with tears I lean in to kiss her 

She moves her lips to mine, I have not kissed her in six weeks and two days , never have we not kissed apart from when we broke up

I move my arms to her waist pulling her into me she hugs me to her placing kisses on my chest , I move my lips to her neck and kiss 

Her spot she sighs and squeezes my shoulders , I  unzip her hoodie she's wearing and yank it off her hands go to my belt she unbuckles it 

And unzips my jeans I move her tank top off of her and kiss each boob, touching the lacy material of her bra 

She pulls my shirt up and over my head , her lips kiss all over my chest I groan at the contact  I kiss her and unzip her jeans she helps 

Me pull them off , then helps me get rid of mine, so I'm now only in boxers, I trace my fingers just above her panties feeling the Softness of

her skin, she reaches into my waistband and grips me oh my god I need her to touch me, I moan into her mouth and lay us down on the kitchen floor 

On top of some of our clothes , I lay on her loving the feel of her body under me I stop kissing her and move my hands inside her panties 

So wet, I rub her clit she bucks her hips up I rub it again then slide her panties to the side she pulls me out of my boxers and I 

Push myself into her , the sensation, the feeling is overwhelming I want to last, but it's been too long since I've been in her 

I don't move too fast she holds into my waist moving with me, I lean down to kiss her she kisses me back with force I feel her 

Body start to shake , she's almost there I keep up the pace I'm going , I feel her cum and moan as my tounge is in her mouth 

Playing with hers I let go and cum hard, she pulls me in deeper to her, I catch my breath and pull out she wraps her arms around me 

I lay my face on her shoulder neither of us saying a word.

 

Mia"so you had sex?"

Me(I nod as I fill the cookie tray to go into the case 

Mia"but didn't talk about anything ?",

Me(I nod)

Mia"why didn't u tell him how you are feeling? You miss him, want him home , try again ?"

Me"cause it was sex , it just happened twice, and...",

Mia"twice? Good lord Mare !"

Me(I nod yes )"hey it had been a long time, plus he's really good at it "

Mia"I'm not hearing this ",

Me"he's sooooo good, and I mean he's got alot going on down there if you know what I mean"

Mia"omg! I'm done with you!"

And with that she leaves the bakery with a wave and look of disgust, good it worked. 

 

Joe",buddy you knew we had this going on"

Me"I know, just I ...now's not a good time "

Murr"well we have sold out shows there Sal, I know it's not great with your ...well you and Mary but you gotta 

Put that aside, we have shows overseas "

I give him a dirty look it's like a backhanded statement, sorry your marriage sucks but we have shows to do 

I get that, I'm going , I just , not now but it is what it is .

Q"it's 15 days gone , sal you should see if Mare would come visit with Soph, long time to be gone , I know you d miss Soph too much 

Especially since we were gone three weeks not too I long ago"

Me"that's the truth, I ....will ask "

Joe"yeah  you should , my ladies are joining me on tour, too long man "

I nod, I hope she'll go, I mean I'm still thinking about that great sex we had last night, I want more, makes me bad 

I don't know, I just want her, she is my wife, so maybe a little off since we are separated , but I do not care.


	19. That will never happen

I'm so stupid it's just Sal, you know since I've known, since I was 15, Sal my husband, he's putting up a new playhouse we got Soph in 

The backyard and my heart is beating fast, why ? Am I having a heart attack? No...goodness me I need something to drink 

I go to the fridge the cool air feels nice, it's October so not sure why I'm warm, oh well, maybe I do darnit. I hear him come in 

Sal"I hate little tykes, her slide a pain in the ass, this house same, no worse, eh it's done including the little mail box "

 Me",such a good daddy , she will be thrilled when she gets home "

Sal"I hope so, ....so i wanted to tell you , we leave for overseas tour in like 13 days "

Me",oh , I totally forgot about that "

Sal"it just kinda , well I didn't forget but I , anyway I know it may be odd, no, so you maybe want to bring Sophie over? Like 

When we go to Ireland, or well any city , really"

Me"um, I could bring her, we just have to work out dates, and all that "

Sal"good, I really don't want to be without her that long, "

Oh ok , but I guess he's ok being away from me that long , wow this hurts 

Sal"I mean you know.....um..."

He's thinking too hard, I don't want this, he doesn't have to say anything else 

Me"just let me know when ok? I have to go get Soph from her friends house will you be here when I get back?"

Sal",yeah, I will "

I nod and take off I can't leave quick enough, just when i think we will be ok, oh boy I'm so dumb .

 

Joe"I'm hungry , when is lunch coming ?"

Murr"soon I hope I'm starving"

Q"sal, you get a burger too ?"

I look up from my cell 

Me"huh...oh no a salad , yeah watching , I know when we are over there I'll eat too much "

Joe"I'm so eating alot there, enjoy the ride I say "

Q"agreed my friend "

Me",be back fellas gonna go Wash up "

Murr"hey here comes lunch yes!"

Harry"ok lunch guys bon appetit...Sal has the salad?"

Q"yeah just set it there, thanks "

Harry",he s on the prowl huh ?"

Q"huh ?"

Joe"what ?"

Harry",no just, you know.... He's separated from. His wife....looking to....idk "

Joe"watch it , he's not separated, he's married so don't start rumors , and man don't come over here commenting on his 

Food choices "

Harry"I was just...",

Murr-",yeah? Well don't , he's our best friend,  don't be talking about him"

"Q",geez what a jerk, look at him , yeah walk away, some of these new people on my damn nerves "

Joe"yeah, agreed "

Me"ok I'm back, good lunch "

Murr"hey mare coming over with Soph ?"

Me"yeah she said she'd bring her, I'm yeah, glad they are coming "

Joe"you need em there buddy, we all need ! loved ones with us, especially being over there that long"

Me"yeah, ....it'll be great shows guys "

I listen to all of them talking, I realized it seems like I only want Soph to come over and that's not the case at all

Why didn't I realize that? Dammit 

 

Me"Sophie can you get your towel? It's time to dry your hair&

Soph"ok mommy here (she hands me the towel I dry her hair,spray the detangler and brush her hair ) mommy where s daddy?"

Me" He s on his way soph "

Soph"Jacob at school said daddy s show is stupid and not funny ",

Me"hmmm what did you say?",

Soph"what Daddy told me to say when someone's tells me they don't like it ",

Ooh boy 

Me",ok, and that would be what sweetie?"

Soph"you don't have to like it, but my daddy and his friends are funny, you just have no taste, carry on"

I burst out laughing, oh yeah that's Sal , he's so funny, and sweet, kind, sexy.....oh I miss him, so so much 

I was going to tell him yesterday but, it's pretty evident he doesn't feel that way, I mean I'm sure he misses me 

But not enough to work this out , will that ever happen? I hope it does , I really don't want to take that next dreaded step...

 


	20. It's going to be ok

I'm waiting with Sophie in the Heathrow airport my goodness it's  big, and different, Sal said they were sending a car I'm standing in the area 

Where he told me to,the driver will hold up a sign with my name on it 

Soph"mommy what language do they talk here?",

Me",speak here, not talk here, and it's English sweetie "

She looks around then back at me 

Soph" sounds funny mommy ",

Me(I crouch down to talk to her )",it's an accent honey, remember we talked about that? And I showed you pictures of things here 

On my laptop "

Soph"I member mommy , it's just mmmmm different to me ",

Me"I know your used to new York baby , this is a whole different culture it's going to be cool and fun ",

I see her look over my shoulder and burst into a smile I turn just as she yells daddy and runs into his arms he kneels down scooping her up

I pull our luggage over and smile she's so happy to see him, he s just as thrilled he's hugging her close his eyes are closed, he opens them

And gives me a smile,

Sal"hey Mare , (he puts the arm out that's not holding sophie and hugs me to him ) I was able to get away so I rode over with the van 

Wanted to surprise you "

Soph",I was SO surprised daddy !, ",

Sal"well then my idea worked well , here let me pull that ",

He takes our big suitcase and rolls it behind him carrying Sophie , I have my carry on and her backpack and the van is right outside 

The doors,  the driver gets out to load us  up and off we go, Sal's pointing things out to us, he has to make one stop before we get 

To the hotel and pick up something Joe ordered from a bakery , soph and I sit in the van waiting 

Driver",nice to meet you both , Sal's been going on to me the drive to get you , he's so excited his girls were coming. And your Sophie is quite 

Pretty , nice to see a man so happy about his wife and daughter coming over, he's one heck of a nice guy too , been driving him and the other 

Fellas round here, he brought me lunch few times , you must be a good woman cause that's a fine man you have "

Me",I'm very lucky to have him, I've loved him since I was 15"

Driver"I know, he told me about you , they were good stories"

He told him about me, us,  wow, I could cry , I love him so ,he gets back in and off we go Sophie resumes her asking what's this

And pointing out the van window, my thoughts now go to , do I have my own room at the hotel?

 

We walk up to the door I push my card key in and open the door let the girls in , mmm mare smells so good 

Me"so this is the room it's a suite pretty nice huh? "

Mary"very nice sal "

Me"two bedroom, Soph gets her own room , and it has. Big TV in it!"

Soph"no way!" 

Me"yep come here I'll show you your room, Sophie V "

I take her in show her , her room she is enthralled with her bed it's a queen it's huge to her, I leave her for a few minutes 

To go see Mare she's looking out the window into the city 

Me"hey , you unpack yet?"

Mary"I, ok I'm staying here too?, In your room?"

Me"well yeah, sure where else would you stay ? I mean did you want your own room?"

Mary"no , I'm , this is ok"

Me"ok , I mean if you don't want to sleep with me, I can sleep with Sophie "

Mary"whatever you want Sal, we can figure it out later ",

I want her next to me in my bed, I want to hug her to my side, feel her body next to mine , I want alot I guess 

Me",are you tired with the time change and all, it's the next day here, a day ahead of NY time"

Mary"I'm ok I napped when Sophie did in flight, those seats were amazing comfortable, I could get used to first class ",

Me"anything for my girls (yeah she's still my girl , always)...so when your ready there's some great sights I'd like to take you and soph to

See "

Mary"sounds great I'll shower than we can go ?",

Me",sure I'll see if soph is hungry "

I watch her get some clothes from her bag and go into the bathroom , she yells ooh Sal this shower is huge , and a tub ! I laugh 

It's the  little  things that make her happy

 

Sal has been seen a few times while we've been out , very nice fans nothing too over zealous , it was a great night , best food I've eaten 

In a while, and our little family had such fun, Sal's carrying a sleeping Sophie from the elevator to our room, I open the door he carries her 

To her room I get her PJs out, he takes her coat and shoes off I help him get her PJs on we put her in bed , kiss her and leave a lamp 

On in the corner of her room , we go out and I get my PJs out and go to brush my teeth , I really love this big bathroom 

I change and wash my face sal comes in , in his boxers and t shirt , smiles at me and brushes his teeth , we both go out and I feel 

Silly , like do I get into bed with him? He gets in I go to my bag like I'm lookimg for something 

Sal"you coming to bed?",

There s my answer 

Me"yes just need my lotion (really I do, I rub it into my arms, legs hands walk over and get in)

Sal"I miss the smell of your lotion , at night, wanna know something ?"

Me"what?",

Sal"I have a bottle of some , use it before bed, .....I know weird right ?"

Me"no, maybe, then I'm just as weird , I dab some of your cologne on your pillow at night (wow I just admitted that)

So it smells like you "

He's staring at me...oh geez 

Sal,"ok yours is weirder than mine "

We both laugh ....I love his laugh, his everything...

Sal"I wanted to talk to you, I've been thinking .."

His words are interrupted by Sophie screaming , we both jump up and go in there, she was unsure of where she was 

Sal picks her up calming her down rubbing her back 

Sal"soph your ok, see mommy s here, I am don't cry baby your ok "

I stand by him and smooth her hair she sniffles and lays her head on his shoulder he carries her back to our bed and lays her in the middle 

Me"better ?"

Soph"she nods and smiles , I kiss her head and Sal climbs in he puts his arm across her and takes my hand in his I just look 

At him, this is a peaceful moment , that I miss alot

Sal"we can talk in the morning , that ok?"

I nod yes , I'm so tired too the last thing I see is Sal's face and sophs and I'm out 

 


	21. On set

I wake up first, Sophie is laying half on Sal and half on the bed, it's a cute sight his arm wrapped around her, her one hand on his cheek the 

Other by his arm, I get my phone to get a picture, too cute , my loves , I go in to take a shower, after I get out and dry my hair I get dressed 

I hear them both up and go out to see them .

Soph"morning mommy , I hungry "

Sal"I have snacks, want a granola bar? Then we can order some room service"

Soph",I like granola bars, oh yes, and please, oh and thank you",

He laughs and gets her the granola, 

Me"sleep well?",

Sal"I did, bed is so comfortable isn't it?",

Me",yes, very.....so after breakfast, you film?"

Sal",early afternoon, you and Sophie wanna come on set today ? I mean if it ends up being too long you can come back here or

Anyplace you'd like to see"

Me"sure I'd like to go. You know Sophie will too, "

Sal",great I really wanted you to come today ,"

He starts to say something, hesitate s then stops, I smile at him, he smiles back.

 

I'm watching Sophie , having a ball playing with her Uncle Bri, he's much more interested in her than filming at the moment 

I'm also watching Mary talking to Joe , it's been good having them both here, I want to spend alone time with her, Q already said he'd 

Watch Soph, it's been a crazy past few months, I don't like not living at home, i miss being , with my wife, I miss alot of things.

Joe"I'm glad you're here , it's good to see you, Sophie too, but I miss the four of us going out , hanging the girls playing"

Me*me too Joe, it's....not a place I thought I'd be in, but, we are working on it"

Joe"I know , I'm glad, I could never see you two not together, like ever "

I nod but can't speak , he pats my hand, he starts telling me a funny story to make me laugh, he's a good man, once he leaves to 

Help set up production, I find a bathroom that's by the set, as I'm coming out I stop to readjust my scarf it's chilly today , my ears 

Perk up when I hear two of the staff say Sal's name , I'm around the corner they can't see me , I've met the one girl Gail , 

I think the other is Donna

Gail"no he didn't have an affair with Nicole, well not sex, like texts , emails, "

Donna",that's still cheating in my book, I don't see how she stays with him, I mean maybe for their daughter, or his money  I mean 

He's sexy hot but..!

Gail"we all have our own choices to make, she has her reasons. I like him, he's a good guy who made mistakes, 

She's really nice, but them being separated, not a good sign "

Donna"separated? No , way , then why she here?"

Gail"I'm sure so Sophie can see him, "

Donna",how do you know they are ?"

Gail"heard from Tim,  he said Logan told him Sal basically admitted it to him , so...."

Donna"crazy, geez, I don't know, hard to be faithful when your that fine "

Gail(laughing)"you are a straight up fool"

Are you serious? The crew knows our personal business, ok I'm sure they know about that bitch, but that we are separated? Why would 

Sal discuss it ?  How humiliating to think they know, watching , judging , it's wrong, ....I was son enjoying being here...

It doesn't seem like sal to tell people he's not close with, his family doesn't even know, just the guys, IDK, , we can 

Talk about it later, for now I'l take smiles and carry on, soph is thrilled to be here, that comes before my anger .

 


	22. I know this, that I love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Sexual content ahead*

I just took Sophie to Q s room,its two doors down from us, she's having a sleepover which she was so excited about, he is too 

I love that they have fun together he's like a big kid, he adores her. I hope someday he's a das he'd certainly be a great one.

I'm ready to go, I walk back into our room .

Me"mare you ready ?"

She comes from the bathroom, my eyes are fixed on her, she's beautiful, I love this woman , I love her so much I just feel 

Overwhelmed and tear up, great Mr emotional 

Mare",sal, what's wrong?"(she comes to me and places her hand on my cheek, which makes me worse)

I wipe my eyes and look down, then up at her 

Me"I'm just, I can't do this anymore, being apart, I hate it, it's not what I want, I screwed up, you forgave me, but it's still 

There, the fact you forgave me, I feel ashamed, I couldn't do that for you a long time ago, and ...(I can't talk , she takes my 

Hand in hers 

Mary"back then Sal, we were kids, it's different, so different, it was supposed to happen that way or we'd never had reconnected

There would be no Sophie, I think.....what happened with you , was maybe supposed to as well, it's a test on how we would do

We failed it, the first time, I think this time around we are doing much better, I'm not a fortune teller, but I know this, 

I know I love you, that day at the church carnival , (I smile thru my tears) that boy with the beautiful green eyes, Nike shorts 

And grey T-shirt asked me out, my life would change for the better who knew that day, (she starts to cry) would bring us here 

So many years, of love Sal, that's not just turned off like a light switch , we can get thru this Sal, I believe it do you?"

I nod and pull her into me hood her close, with all my being, I feel love from her, a little time passes and she looks 

Up at me 

Mary"I'm a crybaby, you realize you are married to one"

Me"uh, you are too"

She laughs 

Me"I'm a man, an emotional one, you never think less of me"

Mary"never, that would be silly, I prefer you shared feeling s with me and you're sexy no matter what"

Me"well, I suppose(I roll my eyes jokingly she laughs , I want her , forget going out, it's been over a month 

Since we has sex , the kitchen floor that day, I've wanted her since the day she got here)

Mary"move back in Sal, I miss you too"

Me(I nod so I don't cry again she smiles reaches up and kisses me I wrap my arms around her kissing her back 

She moans into my mouth , my god that makes me hard I walk us to the bed. Kissing her not stopping

She sits on the bed i sit next to her pull her to me )

Me*lay back baby , (she does , I get up and lean down over her kiss her I pull her a little closer so she's at the edge of the bed 

I kneel down I hear her breathing , she knows what I'm doing I push her dress up lean in kiss all along the edge of her 

Panties, she's so excited I see it thru her panties, I pull then down and off, I part her legs lean down and let my tounge rest on her 

Pussy , I lick slowly, she moans so long and deep, I continue the slow licking she reaches down to run her fingers thru my hair 

I love the taste of her, I missed this, as I'm sure she did too, I liick faster now her moans are loud and frequent I feel her tense 

Then she cums, it's been too long I've made her cum from that, she s panting I stand up she sits up she reaches up unbuttons my 

Shirt her face is level with my crotch she unbuckles my belt, unzips me she reaches in feels my hardness , looks up

At me , licks her lips, then moves her head down pulls my boxers down and starts sucking on me, my god it's so fucking good

I'm standing , she's on the bed sucking me, sexy yeah, I grab her hair in both fists helping her suck me, I'm gonna cum 

It feels so good, been to long, I cum hard, she moans and sucks me dry, she looks up at me 

Mary"I made you cum , Mr Vulcano, you are so sexy "

I take my shirt off and sit by her she lays down moving up the bed pulling me to her 

Me"that was sexy, damn girl "(she laughs I kiss her deeply, she moves her hand into my boxers, I've kicked my 

Pants off, she rubs my dick up and down )

Mary"I love when you lick me (that made me excited) that tounge of yours.... mmmmm my god sal "

I reach around unzip her dress pull it off over her head, she's naked I love she had no bra on I suck each nipple she arches her 

Back I move my middle finger in into her she thrusts up fuck I need to fill her with my cum I pump her in and out 

Then look at the pure pleasure on her face 

Me"baby you want me?'

Mary"so much!!!!

I get up on the side of the bed 

Me"come here baby (she comes to me shes kneeling on the bed i tell her lay down facing me, I take her legs place her feet on 

My shoulders she bites her lip, I ts so easy to do this like this with our height difference I slide into her she moans 

It's right, perfect , but tight been a while I pump slowly 

Mary"sal, oooh hurts a little go slow , baby  been a while, have to adjust to your size "

Me"ok baby "(I pump in her slow,after a few mins she says faster, and I do I'm moving in her, out slamming into her 

She's screaming my name which fuels my fire, I'm so close 

Me"baby, so close, fuck "

Mary"cum baby, I'm going to cum, this angle , sooo good "

And with that she cums I let go and cum, harder than before omg I'm still cumming in her , fuck it's so good my legs 

Are wobbly I am done lay down next to her

Mary"you...are just....wow "

l laugh pull her to my chest, I'm resting up for round two 


	23. Home

Sal comes home today, as in moving back in , we left England 8 days ago, we really missed him, they flew home early this am, well their time, since they are a day ahead of us, he is supposed to

land in NY @ 3:05 pm , hope his plane is on time, Sophie and I are going to get him, she really misses him, more so I think cause she got to see him there, but we flew back without him

whenever we have joined him in the past we just stay and fly back or ride back with him, sometimes I know its harder on her than other times, she made him a card, she put up streamers with

some help from me, she also made him a welcome home daddy banner. she s so damn cute I can't stand it, I get her coat and tell her pick out shoes, she comes back with rainboots

fine, no rain , chilly but its her pick and they are so cute pink with black polka dots we get our things and off we go , the insurance company totaled our SUV so we got a new one same make

better model and different color, dark blue, Soph picked it , she was so thrilled we let her pick the color.

soph"mommy can daddy come home with us?"

me(I look at her in the rear view mirror) course he can honey, where else would he go?"

soph"by uncle Brian's he s there a lot, I think he stayed there "

my God kids notice way more than you think

me"no , I mean sometimes when they were doing work honey, but he was there when you woke up, right?"

soph"yes, but I heard him come home early , sometimes , I looked out my window and saw him , so I am glad he s coming home"

me( I am too , home to stay, she s way too smart for her age, I swear I would not have known that at three, bless her heart) "me too baby , me too "

 

I am carrying this little chatter box I call my daughter to the airport parking lot, pulling my suitcase, mare has my carry on I love being home, love seeing

my girls. even more so moving back in , I have looked forward to it since we talked about it in London, I get soph all buckled in she reaches up for more kisses

which I give her plenty more, I just adore this little girl, I never knew this kind of love, now I can't get enough of her

me"I can drive  honey"

Mare"no you had a long, flight it s tiring I can drive us home"

me(home..such a simple word makes me so happy)

mare"I made dinner, but you want something while we re out?"

me"oh no, way no more food out, just want your home cooked meals for a while, missed that , a lot and my girls "

I take her hand in mine, squeeze it tight , she smiles I love her smile , I missed us, we can work this out, I know we can 

Cause no one loves me like she does 

Later...

Mare"she worked so hard on your sign ,   her smile, when you said you loved it, made my heart melt "

Me"you know she's the best , we made a perfect little girl, even when she's naughty which is not very often, she's perfect "(I put some 

Clean clothes away, mare is plugging her laptop in I pull her by me when she walks past hug her close taking in her softness)"I thought about 

Our night together, alot,....that was a very good night , very "(she looks up at me smiling kisses me) 

Mary"you never disappoint sal, and might I add you've gotten better with 

Time, not that you were bad at it before, but....you do have new moves but, I never ever didn't like anything you did....

Well....there was that one time"

Me",now..(I can't stop laughing, she s grinning, I compose myself , try to) that was totally me drunk , and you promised you'd never 

Bring it up..."

She s laughing so hard now, she can't talk I am too, we lay on the bed , after we settle down she kisses my chin 

Mary"yes you were drunk , and so cute trying to um...?get it in ....oh sal that's a story that nevef gets old "

Me"yeah yeah yeah"

She cups my cheek, which I love 

Mary"our anniversary is in 10 days, does it seem like we've been married five years?"

Me"no, just ....like yesterday, even though I've known you over twenty years, and loved you that long, seems like I just saw you 

Walking down the aisle, you took my breathe away, never had you looked more beautiful than our wedding day, until....you 

Were pregnant with our baby girl,"

Mary"sweet man, you belong here, I'm so so happy you're home Sal "

Me"I can tell , baby....hey my mom is going to take Sophie when we go away for our anniversary weekend, did I tell you already?"

Mary"yes, which she loves her Nana, but still not telling me where we are going ?"

Me"nope....not at all total surprise"

She gives me a look, scrunches up her nose, and winks at me I kiss her gently, then she lays her head on my chest, yeah this is SO much 

Better than staring at the ceiling in Q s spare bedroom, thank God I'm home .

 


	24. Surprised? No, blown away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *sexual content ahead*

We leave this afternoon for our anniversary weekend, my mom will be here by one, Sophie s made a list , as best a three year old can

With plans of what her and her Nana will be doing, I mean how adorable is that. I'm all packed I'm excited like a little kid, she kept asking 

Me for hints, wouldn't give her any, no way this was all so carefully planned, I'm quite proud of myself. Sophie comes to me 

Soph"daddy snack please, and thank you"

Me"honey, you say thank you after I give you the snack, it's so great you say please and thank you "

Soph"I forget thank you is after, that's funny ok after snack thank you "

I kiss her head and go into the pantry so she can choose a snack, she gets a bag of Graham crackers and goes to the table

Soph"milk please Daddy"

I Pour her a glass set it by her 

Soph"thank you daddy, oh see I got it right "

Me"see that, good job baby girl "

She offers me a cracker I take it 

Soph"daddy am I gonna ever get a baby brother?, Cause I really want one "

Me"well, Soph you know , if mommy does have a baby, it could be a girl "

Soph"well that's ok,, I guess but I like a brother more, I even know what his name can be "

Me"oh? And what would you name him?",

Soph"Martin, after my stuffed hippo "

Me"mmmmm Martin Vulcano, I don't know..what if it was a girl?

Soph""a girl? Hmmm I maybe Annie , I luv dat movie , "

Me"Annie Vulcano, that goes ....hmmm"

Soph"baby brother though, .....daddy if you and mommy had another baby, you'd still luv me right?"

Me"sophie, baby , daddy and mommy will always love you, no matter if we have more babies , or not,  nothing in the whole 

Big world , could ever make us not love you, never ever "

Soph"dat s good, I was worried"

Me"never ever baby girl"

these are the moments, conversations I love, keep in my head, especially when I'm away from home

 

my Sal has me on a scavenger hunt, he hired an uber to take him around, I have the SUV he just sent me my first 

text , clue sender: Sal: it's the place we first met , easy one I know look for a blue envelope by the well  ..luv u ...I drive to St Rocco s church and pull 

in the back parking lot, I see the well, I park and walk to it, see the envelope open it "hi babe, you found the first clue,

good job, now your second clue, first date, not the movies, but the sweet treat after  mike at the counter has a blue envelope for you "  I remember , 50 scoops flavors 

an ice cream  shop not far from my childhood home , I get in the SUV get there, ask for mike who hands me the second envelope 

"great job, it's going to get a bit harder from here, ready.? Ok next clue, we went here after we dated for six months 

you bought me a bottle of polo for the six month anniversary and gave it to me here , once you find the place text 

me and I will tell you where the envelope is luv "

ok, six ,month, I wanted to take him to a Devils hockey game, but it was too far to go, our parents didn't want us 

driving there....think...yeah the ice rink , by sell vile off I went, it continued like this till my last stop

where Sal asked me to marry him, it was chilly that night just like tonight , I pull in and see him by the creek in 

the park, the park we took prom pics at, the park we always came to to talk, spend time it's special to us, I loved 

it's where he proposed I walk over to him, he looks so handsome in his dress clothes , wool coat 

Sal"there s my girl , you did really good "

me"only got confused twice, you did such a great job baby (I kiss him ) this was such fun, I loved it!"

sal"I had fun planning it too, I'm so glad you had fun, brought back memories "

me"many honey, such great ones , and now...."

sal"and now , (he takes my hands in his ) I'm taking you to dinner and where we are staying for the weekend, 

its not a hotel....."

me"no? Where at ?"

sal"I rented a cabin by the Catskills "

omg I've wanted to do that forever..,,! We tried a few times but filming and touring were there, omg 

me"honey really....? Omg I'm so excited !"

i hug and kiss him, he's all happy, he knows I'm so exited to go there, he drives us there, it takes about 35 minutes 

we get our bags he puts a code in the door , it's such a beautiful cabin outside I just know inside is too 

he opens the door and candles are lit all over, it's breathtaking. Dinner is in covered plates on the table 

also filled with candles , I'm so in awe , of this place, mu husband I hug him close whisper thank you in his ear 

he grins, holds my face and kisses me, this is so great, I'm overwhelmed

 

she comes out of the bathroom after changing , into what. Absolutely nothing, omg she's beautiful I m in my boxers 

she walks over to me hugs my neck kissing me, I run my hands over her naked body her skin is so soft, so warm my god 

I lay her on the king size bed, I lit a fire she moves her hands down into my waistband and pushes my boxers off 

kissing my neck 

mary"I love it here Sal, thank you for this , all of it, I'm still so surprised , you are the best babe you know that?

me"for you, anything I'm so glad you are this happy "

mary"Sal? 

Me"yeah babe.?"

mary"want to make a baby?"

I look at her, I grin push her hair back 

me"yeah, I'd love that, you want this baby "

mary"so much Sal, we made a perfect little girl, let's go for two kids "

me"let's get to it Mrs. Vulcano"

She kisses me so sweetly , another baby, to I've wanted that for a while now I gently move her head to the pillow and lay on top of her 

She runs her hands down my back making me shiver I lean down and kiss the spot on her neck that makes her crazy I hear her 

Moan 

Mary"I love you my Sal"

Me"love you my girl "(slowly I enter her never losing eye contact she moves her hips up then back down , I'm taking my time , I want this 

To last, remember the night we decided to try and make our baby , we hear the grandfather clock chime in the living room 

It's midnight 

Me"happy anniversary baby "

Mary"happy anniversary my love , "

 

 

 

 

 

 


	25. It happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *warning this is a dark chapter, death, sadness if anything would trigger anyone please do not  
> Read , I don't want to upset anyone , thank you *

_I_ wake up , for a moment I forget where I am, I hate when that happens I sit up look around my hotel room I see it's 4:27 am dammit I 

Just fell asleep at 1 something, three more shows to go then home, I get up to wash my face I feel sweaty , turning down the heat 

I move to the bathroom , wash my face , feels better grab my iPad and get back into bed, I see Sophie sent me a video via Skype 

Last night when I was on stage I open it, aww my sweet girl, she s telling me goodnight, she loves , misses me ,blows me kisses 

Tells me what her and her mommy did today, she hopes I'm happy , I miss her, I miss my wife I've been on the road almost a month 

Now, by the time I'm home it will be a month and two days, seems to get harder to be away from them, but these shows are phenomenal

I'm loving being on stage, the guys and I are having a blast, I see a message , it's mare I open up skype see her beautiful face 

Mary"sal baby why aren't you sleeping?" 

Me"woke up, couldn't sleep, saw soph sent me a video message, you should be sleeping too babe"

Mary"um not so much , look (she gets up sets her iPad against the lamp in our room steps back shows me her belly, omg she 

 Popped, her belly is so round, I love it, I love her, she takes the iPad and sits back down her smiling face in my view 

Me"babe, I love that belly! Awww I miss it "

Mary"you do? Well it'll be here when you get home, little Sal is quite the kicker, especially ariund three thirty in the morning, perhaps 

Another soccer player in the family "

Me"I bet he will be, aww I'm sorry babe I'm not there"

Mary"no, sal we talked about this, you are not to feel bad about being away, working, fun work but still working we are 

All ok here, we miss you, of course and little Sal and I have our checkup today, "

Me"I know it's on my phone text me as soon as your done, ok?

Mary"promise, now you sleep, I love you my Sal , so so much "

Me"love you too my girl, kiss Sophie for me, (she blows me a kiss and signs off...I miss them more now)

 

Q"sal you want a water ?"

Me"yeah thanks buddy (we are eating lunch on the bus headed to Nebraska, sold out show there like most we have 

Meet n greets at 5:45 everyone we meet is so great, it's so humbling, fans have given me baby gifts, they don't know were having 

A boy, we kept that private, the gestures are so very kind, we all get some really cool things )

Joe"I'm ready for a nap, belly is full,  then I'm fresh and ready to meet the fans ....night night boys "

And off he goes to his bunk , it's stating to storm ugh I hate when it rains and were traveling, oh well 

Murr"sal how's mare doing ? feeling?"

Me"she says great, which ..idk she's in her 8,th month, she's taking care of soph, going to the store like three timesa week

I think it's too much, course I feel bad being gone,she says don't, I do....."

Murr"she's strong sal, I mean one of the strongest women I know, I mean that, she keeps it all together, she supports you 

In this, hard to find that, we've all been there, but yeah I would feel bad too, I get that buddy, I really do"

Me"thanks Murr, means alot"

Q"I agree she's one heck of a woman, she s with you"

Me"ha ha , fuck you Q"

We all laugh, maybe I'll nap, take my mind off missing my girls, but im waiting on the text about her checkup I go lay on one 

Of our couches and wait.....slowly my eyelids close 

 

I'm aware of where I am, I'm aware of what I was just told, but I feel in a haze, it hasn't registered what he just said, the Dr 

And ultra sound tech are looking at me, I need sal, I need him, here .

Dr"Mary, you can hear me (he takes my hand ) , I know this is not a good thing, I'm so sorry I'm so very sorry"

Me"I felt him kick, early this morning, last night, how....?"

Dr"sometimes that's, well it's not a kick, the fetus, the baby ..(I put my hand up I can't , don't want to hear this I can't 

I need Sal)

Me"I need sal, where , I mean it's (I look at the wall the clock )he's headed to Nebraska, how far away is he? I don't know 

But I need him, Sophie, she's , with his mom, I can't (I'm babbling, I know I am, they manage to contact my brother Dominic, the rest of 

It seems in slow motion , how can this be happening??!!! I'm not sure, I feel myself drifting the next thing I know I see darkness 

 

I'm trying to tie my tie, my hands are shaking, I sit on the end of my bed and hang my head, tears fall again, they haven't stopped for three days

Now, mare is downstairs with my family, and hers, Sophie s with them, explaining to my little girl what happened was awful, 

I didn't think my heart could break anymore than it did when my baby boy passed away, it did, I hear a knock i wipe my eyes 

And say come in, the guys come in close the door Joe sits next to me

Joe"hey Sal, you need anything?"

Me"I can't seem to tie , my tie "

He takes the tie from my hand and turns me so I'm facing him, fixing my collar putting my tie on, his eyes are filled with tears, 

I look to see Q and Murr, crying as well, all these tears, it's not right, my baby taken , why? I ask that over and over, Dr said it happens

Yeah it happened alright, she had one month to go! That's it 

Joe"there you go buddy, "(he pats my back and gets my suit jacket I stand up he helps me put it on,)

Me"how am I supposed to do this? That's my son, my baby, and he's being buried, he's ....supposed to be alive, why?

I don't understand this (I look at each of them, tears are rolling down their cheeks,mine too) I held him, he was perfect 

You could tell, he looked like Mary, mostly he had  my chin though .....I'm sorry I just "

Q"Sal, talk to us , we are here, for you, never be sorry Sal, say it, whatever you need to"

Joe"talk sal, we've been waiting ....for you to buddy "

Murr nods his head unable to speak 

Me"perfect, I held him so long, but not long enough, we didn't let Sophie see him, it would never leave her, and 

We , she's too little, but someday we can show her the few pictures we took, I feel like I'm going to die, I can't 

Understand this, we don't deserve this, hell no one does, you know my girl, she's been strong, too strong, she needs to

Talk to me, she won't, she cries alot, not Infront of Sophie , well she trys not to, me to, she did everything at the ....

(I can't say funeral home) I just sat there with our parents, I can't be that strong, I'm trying guys, I am , I'm her protector 

And I feel like nothing, I hold her close to me when she cries. Sometimes she clings to me like I'm her lifejacket

Other times she just hugs me, I don't know what to do anymore I just....(and with that I crumble to the ground crying 

The guys are all around me, I am so grateful I have them, I would be even worse without them.

 

Sal"she's asleep"

I nod I go to get my PJs from my dresser, it's just past eight, I'm exhausted but can't sleep just yet...

Me"sal?"

He looks at me standing by my dresser 

Sal"yeah?"

Me"I'm sorry , I know the baby's...I don't know why , I did everything right, I did the same as I did with Sophie I know you must 

Hate me, I hate myself, I just, we tried so hard, sal and we were so happy, I wanted this baby so much, he didn't deserve 

To not be here, sal I'm sorry, you can leave me, I understand(I sob I just sob  and slide to the floor he sits next to me he's crying 

He puts his arms around me )

Sal"I don't blame you for the baby's .......passing , honey it had nothing to do with what you did, didn't do he had a heart defect 

No one knew , no one baby how can you think it's your fault, my god it's not, leave you? I'd never leave you ever, I love you 

I'm sorry I wasn't there when you.....found out... you had to sit and wait, how horrible, I'm sorry baby so sorry you went thru this 

I can't understand it, I'm angry, sad, I don't know but I know I love you with all my heart, I'm going to help you thru this 

I'm not leaving your side, baby "

I nod and just cry, the tears don't stop, the ache in my heart physically hurts I cling to him, I can't be without him, ever please 

God never let him leave me, I would die, I feel close to that , I miss my baby boy so much, so so much I lay my head on his chest 

And just sob , I can't stop, he holds me tight crying kissing my head . Please let us get thru this, please.


	26. Someone has to be

I look over and see its almost 1 pm , I have not been out of bed yet and don't care if I

do get up or not today, I think its Wednesday but I am not sure, I don't sleep at night

at all , I toss and turn I have horrible images in my mind, I can't shake them, all I see

is my son, not alive a baby wrapped in a hospital blanket, I see his tiny coffin

I don't even remember what people said that day, it was a private service family

some close friends, what can they say? sorry? that s such a useless word to say

but I mean they meant well, I try and get up I do, to spend some time with Sophie

and I do daily, but I can't seem to do much else, I just want to be left alone, no

one knows how I feel, no one, I blame myself every minute of every day, its been

15 days since my little  baby boy died and the world seems to go on, strange to me

how that works, it should have stopped or at the very least , for a little bit I do not

know how I am going to ever recover from this, if not for Sophie I would welcome

not waking up again , that's how I am feeling now, and no matter what I can't shake this and

I am scared to death I never will.

 

ME"she ate some, this afternoon, she was up when I brought Sophie home from

pre-school , she went back to bed within 10 min or so , I took Sophie to the park

then out to dinner, I came home she was in the same spot in the bed as when

we left, I don't know what to do, I have to take care of Sophie, that s where my

mind is, I know we tape in 3 weeks again for a new season, can I? I don't know

I hope so, I have no time frame as to when my wife is going to..be ok? will she

ever? I don't know, One of has t to be, one of us has to carry on, my heart

aches every day for him, I have been to his grave 8 times, I go when Sophie s

with someone else, once I went @ night when she fell asleep early and it was

still light out, so to answer all of you (  I look at my family, Dominic, Anthony , Mia

the guys, her sister in law) that's what its like right now, here"

silence people looking at one another

Me"someone speak I know you have things to say, just say em"

Anthony" she needs to see someone"

Dom"again? with that, she does not, let her mourn , see someone you think that

will make her ok?"

Anthony"no, I think it will help her to get back to ok"

Dom"you sound like Mom, NO she does not"

Joe"her heart is broken, there is no time frame on grief"

Q"true, but she has to ...start to live again, for herself , sophie and Sal, I will

never know what she feels like, or Sal, I can't fathom the pain, I have been so

depressed before I felt like I had nothing, no one, she has to know we are here

for her"

Anthony"well  she does, she should , look I love her, I do I feel horrible but how

much can Sal do? take? he s mourning too"

me"no I can handle it, I am ..fine its her I worry about"

people start to talk over one another now, I hear Sal needs time to grieve too

Mary needs help , she can't keep going like this, I am worried about you both

what about Sophie in all this? I am trying to answer people when I look up and see

Mary standing in our living room she came down the steps thru the kitchen she

looks at every person , who now are all silent, then me

Mary"so..a meeting about what to do with mary?" am I late? I mean I heard alot

but what did I miss?"

Me"honey, this is not..they are all concerned about you worried"

mary"oh...ok..and they all decided to come on over and have a sit with , with you?"

me"no, we are..I am ..just trying to help you "

mia"mare honey , listen (she goes towards her and mare walks back away from her)

me"no do not come by me, let me say this to all of you who are concerned,. I did

not ask you to be concerned, if Sal did , well that's him, you think I want to be this

way? no I don't I try many , many times  a day to get out of that bed and face

the world , then I think why? what for? for my daughter ok, and I do spend time

with her, I also know she's being taken care of, is it selfish of me? maybe, and for

that Sal(she looks at me) I am sorry, truly sorry( I shake my head no) you all try

and understand how I feel, you don't; none of you can, none of you ever will

thank God for that, I lost my baby , he 's gone, he's never coming back, he's

not going to have a first birthday party, he's never going to go to school , he's never going to

play any sports, he will never know how much we loved him, he will never know

he had a big sister who was so excited to be one, he won't graduate high school,

he won't go to college, or pick a path he chooses in life, he will never get

married, or fall in love, or be a father, he won' t ever do those things cause he's

dead(I can't stop crying and most in the room are crying) I live with that

every second, every minute of the day (she looks at me, for what seems like

a long time she walks over to me and wipes the tears I have on my face she

puts her hand on my cheek , she has not done that in a long long time

she looks into my eyes, and for the first time in a long time I see her, I see

my girl, I see my wife, her eyes are not vacant anymore) I am so sorry Sal,

you have been so strong for me, for us, you are the man I knew you were,

you don't deserve this, I am sorry my sweet , sweet Man, I am trying so

hard, but  I need to try harder, its not fair to you and for that I am truly sorry"

I try to compose myself I take her hands in mine

me"you have nothing to be sorry for , nothing remember , at times one

of us has to carry the other, you have done it countless times for me, it was

my turn honey "

and with that she hugs me close and just cries I hold her close to me and close my

eyes, I hear people leave, I feel a few pats on my shoulder, my back , and then

we are alone, some time passes, she looks at me

mary"I am going to shower, can you make us some tea? we can sit down here

for a little bit?"

I nod yes and wipe my face, she hugs me tight again

mary"I love you so much Sal, I need you , always, I am here for you too

I want you to know that"

 


	27. Day by Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *some sexual content ahead*

I feel the sun beating down on my face, it feels so good, I like spring in New York , or well anywhere I suppose, its a pretty season, the cold is gone for the most part, the holiday's are over

and they were not easy, but we got thru them, I am watching Sophie and Mary kicking the soccer ball around in our backyard,we got Soph a big soccer net for Christmas and she loves it,

we went to visit the baby this morning, Sophie made him a picture she does anytime we go, she puts in a ziplock and leaves it for him, it's so sweet, she is so sweet, can't believe she will be

4 next week. We take it day by day, but Mare has been so much better, we lean on one another, I have been having a pretty tough time and she s right there for me, like she always is

I can't be without her, you know you say vows when you get married, promises in your marriage, something bad happens like it did to us,. made us stronger, as odd as that may seem

what happened to us, tears a lot of couples apart, I refuse to let that ever happen. Ever.

 

Mare"Sal you want to go out tomorrow night, just you and me?"

I smile at her, yeah I would love that, we have not in a while

me"yeah babe I would love that, any place you want to go , have in mind?"

she comes and sits on my lap on the kitchen chair I am in puts her arm around my neck the other on my chest

Mare"let's go to Mario's and then we come back here and we....make  a baby"

I am ....um really? she s ready? she wants this? I mean I want to try again for sure, I never brought it up, it's been 8 months since...her eyes are so happy she s looking into my eyes

she looks hopeful

me"you ...want this, I mean you said it but....let me say this...you are for sure ready?"

mare"I am ...I am a little scared, and anxious, I can't promise I may not be a little over catious when I am...but I want to Sal, I hope you do too, we will always miss ...him

no baby we have will replace him, ever, but we have so much to give to a baby, our baby, I just want more with you "

I nod, I can't even talk, if I do I will cry, she lays her head on my shoulder and hugs me, she tells me she loves me, I kiss her face and hold her like that

 

Joe'sal man that's great , I mean not to be weird but...you know what I mean"

me"yeah I do, she...was so happy, I mean I know its not easy but Joe we are so much better"

Joe'I see you are Sal, I was so ...worried about you , both of you , you both inspire me to be strong I tell you that man,"

me"it's like.....not replacing him , never will that be the case. but she s right, we have a lot of love to give and Sophie , she would

love a sibling, I just ...you know that worry Joe, wont' go away , like ever"

Joe"no it won't but Sal, this will be ok....She's going to have a healthy baby , I know it, I do"

me"thanks Joe, you know....these past...months...I ....could not..."

Joe'I know buddy,. I know....Sal I always got your back, you know that "

I nod, I do know that, I was so excited I had to tell Joe, he s my best friend , I love those two goofs too, my other best friends ,

but ..for now, Joe s the only one that knows...but that will change..soon, I feel good, I actually feel good

 

me"miss Sophie whats that you have?"

Soph"I made Uncle Brian a macaroni bracelet you think he will like it mommy?"

me"like? no LOVE , oh wait till he sees that "

soph"I think so too...mommy , my party is next week, I am excited!"

me"four years old,. Soph are you sure? I swear you were just born!"

she laughs , she loves when I say that

Me"I mean really 4? this growing thing is WAY outta hand, next thing you know you will be in highschool! ahhh"

we laugh I pick her up and hug her then crash on the couch

soph"I want to marry someone just like daddy"

me"oh that s a wise choice Sophie, ...your daddy is pretty great"

soph"he's the best man I know, well I love Papa too, and grandpa, and Uncle Brian, and Uncle dom, oh and uncle Anthony but my daddy

is the best , see I can marry someone like him, he will take care of me, and love me all the time, like daddy does you ,. and when I am sad

he will love me even more, ...that's what daddy said when you were sad mommy"

me"said what honey?"

soph"he said Mommy is really sad, so we have to love her even more, and we did mommy, daddy said he will take care

of you and me, all the time and he does too, we are so lucky mommy!"

I nod, I could cry , my God this man , no one , no one loves me like he does, no one ever will

 

I take her hand in mine as we go up the steps, Sophie s sleeping over at Q's, just me and my girl she turns to face me when we get in 

Our room kissing me , a deep lingering kiss, she moves her hands to the hem of my polo and pulls it up her lips go to my 

Chest and off goes my shirt, I unbutton her oxford shirt I move my lips to her soft neck and down to her lacy bra, she's 

So soft, I move one hand down and unzip her skirt it falls to the ground, she s unbuckling my belt and unzipping my pants 

Her lips on my neck up to my earlobe my god I'm hard, she smells so good, I run my hands around her waist down her back I grab her ass

She moans against my neck, then moves her mouth to mine, she finds my tounge her hand moves inside my boxers, god that feels 

So good we lay on our bed , once we are both naked she pulls me to her

Mary"you , are sexy, I mean like blow your mind sexy, are you aware?"

Me"I am, I mean how could I not know?"

  We laugh she cups my cheek, my god I love when she does that 

Mary"so you know I love, adore you "

Me"I'm quite aware"

She winks , then kisses me

Mary"I love you Sal, Sal Vulcano, the boy with the gorgeous green eyes, and the smile that won me over, loved 

You then, love you that much more now "

Me"it's you n me babe"

I kiss her and move my hand to her face touching her face she runs her hand down by back, I slowly push inside of her she 

Gasps , then bites her bottom lip, so sexy, we make love, no words, alot of kisses, and some moans, I'm so in love with her, always .

  

 

 

 


	28. You will always have my heart

It's almost 5am, I look over at my husband, my Sal, my life line, we've been thru so much these past few years,  and we overcame it all, was it easy? no , not at all but it made us stronger

in a lot of ways, I know without a doubt I can never not love him, never not be his wife, never not be at his side. He is sleeping so soundly, Joey was up with teething pain, he's cutting his

first tooth and poor thing is miserable, he is so precious, he's 9 months old and he lights up any room he is in, he has his Daddy's eyes like Sophie does, and all the rest is me it's amusing

to me he looks more like me and Sophie looks more like Sal, two great kids. My pregnancy was easy, I was a nervous wreck and it all worked out well, Joseph Edward Vulcano, sweet

little boy, he has truly completed our family. Not a day goes by, I don't think of baby Sal, I will never not think of him, but I can hope he 's a guardian angel watching over us.

I go to check on Joey he is sound asleep, I kiss him , I check on Soph sleeping too sweet girl  , kisses for her too. She just adores Joey, she mothers him it s sweet. I go downstairs to

get some breakfast ready, its starting to get cool fall is around the corner, and Sal's birthday, love celebrating his birthday, love everything that is Sal. I start making breakfast

I hear Joey on the baby monitor he's babbling away, then I hear Sophie talking to him , I love it...so damn cute, then a few min later I hear Sal s voice , all my loves are up

I finish up, I hear them coming down the steps into the kitchen , Joey is on Sal's right hip, Sophie on his left.

me"well hello my family, how is everyone?"

sal walks to me and kisses me, I kiss him back, then Sophie, then Joey I take Joey and he smiles and claps his hands I put him in his chair and put his cheerios on  his tray

he happily stuffs them in his mouth, smacking his hand on the tray yelling "da da da mmmm " he loves to eat  this one, my God I love him.

soph"mommy what time are we leaving today?"

me"um...honey what time did you have to be there?"

sal"by 4, so we will be ok if we leave at 3, So Soph 3 it is, for the Vulcano's to hit the road"

soph" I am SOOOOOOOOOOO excited to see your show tonight daddy!"

sal" me too...it will be a great show, pumpkin and I am really happy you , and Mommy and Joey are going to be there, that's the best to me"

Sophie nods and rattles off other family and friends that are coming, sal is listening handing Joey more cheerios, this..this scene here is what makes me

so happy, that easy, that simple.

 

Huge show tonight, I am backstage,  I am going on in 30 min or so , Sophie is talking with her cousins, I just changed Joey he's pointing at his foot and babbling, this baby boy has alot

to say, just wait till we can figure out what he's saying, I hand him to Q, he loves Q most kids do, he goes for his beard just like with me, I go over and take my wife's hand and excuse us

I walk her into the hallway away from everyone

mare"you ok? you ready? you look so handsome honey "(she smooths my shirt out and kisses my cheek) I am so proud of you , you deserve this tonight babe

you  know that?"

Me" I worked hard, but I could not have done this without you, you know that right? you are my everything, you and our kids, mean the world to me

yeah I love what I do and I feel immensely blessed, but none of it would mean anything without you my girl , I love you baby , always"

mare" I love you my Sal, cause why?"

I smile and say to her what I tell her more often than not

Me"you will always have my heart"

 

THE END

 


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